What I Wish People Knew About Depression.
I think it gives a really interesting, knowledgable, sensitive, nuanced perspective.
Depression has been on my mind more lately. I don't just mean I feel depressed, although that may be the case. I mean it's been on my mind in that I've been mulling over the nature of depression. Like, how much of it can I really control? How much is triggered by life happening around me, and how much is "just in my head"? How much of my constant ruminating about random shiz can be explained by wonky brain chemicals? How much of me is irrevocably fucked up at a chemical level? How much has this dark monster changed my actual personality? My ability to think clearly and form relationships and experience joy?
Oopsie daisies, didn't mean for this get quite so philosophical. Just been thinking a lot. I'll try to do a happier post soon. Much love, all.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately too, thanks for including that article. It was really interesting and really well written. This particularly stood out to me: "I wish people knew that a depressed person is capable of fake laughing for two hours through a dinner only to go home and Google “easiest ways to get cancer" - soo incredibly true, and way too many people don't know this.
ReplyDeleteI really like this article. I feel like it really captures how complex and all-consuming depression can be, and how impossible it is for people who've never been depressed to truly "get it." I used to fantasize about getting hit by a car - I wasn't necessarily suicidal, just so terribly depressed that I wanted to die but I wanted someone else to take care of it, if that makes sense...and that's not really something you can articulate in a way that "healthy" people would understand. Thanks for reading, hope you're doin okay!
DeleteI hate that you are feeling so down :( Have you talked to your dr. about the possibility of it being a chemical imbalance and maybe looking at options. I don't know if you are on anti-depressents at the moment but it's something to think about. Sending soooooooooo many hugs your way and hoping that this new year is an amazing one because that is what you deserve and nothing less than that!!!!
ReplyDeletethanks Jenn - I'm actually doing way better at home, I think the change of scenery and holiday atmosphere really helped shake me out of the rut I was in. I was on an anti-depressant for about two years but came off last July. My T and I have started to discuss whether that might be what triggered this down period that last couple weeks, so meds may be back on the table at some point.
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