I mentioned yesterday that I was having an uptick in pain. Predictably, this has yet again set off a cascade of panicky, devastating thoughts about omgit'sback. I can't really describe how awful and terrifying that is—as if the past six months have just been a nice dream and now we're back to the nightmare.
I just spent an hour in tears with Dr. P who pointed out that this level of catastrophizing is maybe not quite warranted for a couple reasons:
(1) I went through a similar experience almost exactly one month ago, suggesting that this is possibly the result of some cyclical hormonal fluctuation.
(2) I've been upping my exercise again after SWEARING to her and you guys and myself that I would wouldn't. And the pain seemed to pick up after two consecutive days of long bike rides.
Less than 24 hours ago, I was waxing poetic about how I choose health and all that, and I still do! But that's easier blogged than done. Oddly, these days the food piece is easier than the exercise piece. But I'm working on it.
The increase in pain does sound scary! But it seems like Dr. P has a point about the hormonal fluctuations and exercise. Hormones are insane in how many things they affect about the body and mood! The exercise part is certainly hard, and I wish you lots of luck with that! Is there any way you can get some accountability about keeping your workouts an appropriate length of time? Like texting your mom or a friend when you start and when you plan to stop so that you feel like you need to stop when you said you would and text them back? Just a thought. Hang in there, and I hope the pain goes away ASAP!
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