Happy Friday! I am currently procrastinating although I have a MILLION things to do. I'm getting up bright and early tomorrow morning to hop on the road and drive six hours to Big Northern City for a whirlwind Easter weekend with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins. By "whirlwind," I mean I'll be driving up Saturday morning, spending 24 hours with them, and driving back with my cousin in tow Sunday night (she also lives in College City, but got a ride up to her parents' house earlier this week). Obviously I do NOT have a weekend to spare in terms of schoolwork, but I'll bring my books and my computer and get some work done Saturday night and Sunday morning, hopefully. Otherwise I'm just going to take off my Anal Retentive hat and chill out and have a good time and worry about the schoolwork when I get back.
Does that sound unlike me? Well, shut up. I'm trying to be less of a freak! Ever since my psychiatrist Dr. L and I talked about tapering off my meds (which I am not planning to do this very second, but will be considering in the future), I've been thinking a lot about strategies to keep myself happy and centered and anxiety-free. My therapist Dr. P gave me a list of YouTube links to mindfulness exercises and really, I tried a couple, and I just can't do it. I know it works miracles for some people, and I know it's like supported by evidence and whatnot to reduce anxiety, but seriously. I just can't not chortle my way through those things. I'M SORRY. They just make me laugh. My old therapist Dr. R once made me do deep breathing exercises in his office and it was a disaster. An absolute DISASTER, I tell you.
Anyway. Alternatives: I think I committed to this once before and then promptly failed at it, but I've been trying to write in my journal semi-regularly about the things I'm thankful for—my friends, my parents, my apartment, whatever happens to strike me at that particular moment. I just think it puts me in a positive, grateful, grounded state of mind. I've also been making a real concerted effort to spend time with people who make me happy: a few of my closest friends in my grad program, a couple other close friends from undergrad still in College City, my cousin, my advisor, my tutoring students, etc. Life is too short to spend so much time alone, you know? And after isolating myself so much the last couple years, I finally feel myself coming out of my shell again and actually enjoying time out with people. And finally, I am limiting my exercise, listening to my body, and doing my best to treat myself more kindly. Living workout-to-workout, meal-to-meal...it's stressful and it's not healthy. It puts my brain in a weird place, and it makes everything else feel secondary.
Still not weighing myself, still feeling good about it. Still little-to-no pelvic pain, few-to-no eye problems, and still able to appreciate the miracle of good health.
Much love and Happy Easter to all.