We had our big end-of-semester outdoor concert on campus yesterday—it has a tendency to turn into a rip-roaring shit show most years, but that's mostly because of the freshmen who start drinking at 9 in the morning and then wonder why they're puking by noon. Being the classy and sophisticated seniors that we are, my friends and I made sangria from a mixture of red wine, bood orange juice, triple sec, apples and oranges, which was fruity and delicious albeit a smidge strong.
I had been feeling lame and un-festive ahead of time, and thought about skipping the whole thing, but then decided to suck it up and go. Good thing, too, because it was so much fun. Towards the end of the night, I found myself sitting on some steps with a group of friends, still kind of tipsy but very much lucid and self-aware, watching the sky turn beautiful colors over the campus, and thought to myself, I'm really happy right now. Totally worth it, just for that moment.
Other news from the past week: I got hired as a research assistant for a project through my graduate program, which is AWESOME. Really looking forward to the work, which should be fascinating. This particularly study probably won't extend much beyond the summer, but it's still a great way to get my foot in the door for future positions.
I saw my psychiatrist earlier this week for the first time since December, when I was a miserable sobbing mess. She works in the same clinic as my ex-therapist R and I was positively TERRIFIED of running into him, but luckily that didn't happen. Anyway, it was nice to talk with Dr. L about how much better I'm doing overall. We discussed some of my fears over graduating, moving out on my own, and handling the potential for increased anxiety/depression that might result. Ultimately we decided to leave my meds alone for now and talk again in 3 months. Unless things start to spiral downward again, I think my current dose is probably fine for the time being. Not sure what the protocol is for staying on SSRIs longterm—I don't particularly want to be medicated forever, but things seem to be working and I have zero desire to come off my meds anytime soon. It would seem ill-advised to mess with a good thing right on the cusp of some major life changes.
Okay, I guess I should probably/maybe/ehh start thinking about my finals. I GUESS.