Feeling kind of down tonight, in a really weird way. I'm sitting here reading the news and working on my anthropology paper and realizing that there is so much need in the world, and I've got every privilege and intention in the world that would allow me to help. But instead of feeling inspired and empowered, I'm feeling defeated.
My body is broken. I'm in pain. I am not living life the way I want and I'm not accomplishing the things I want because I physically can't do it. Things have improved some—my pain levels are vastly lower than they were even just two or three months ago. So things are looking up and I have no reason to believe that things won't continue to improve...but, you know. For the most part, I'm past the point of worrying that this nerve pain will last forever, but I'm also sick and tired of waiting for it to end.
I'm not depressed, just frustrated. And so, so tired. I want to do good things in the world. I have so much to give. Just wish this damn body would give me the chance.