I have lots to write about life and treatment and fears and stuff, but I'm too lazy and my thoughts are too disorganized to post anything coherent or substantial. So, some miscellany:
- I recently read Columbine by Dave Cullen. Great book, but hard to read. Not for the faint of heart. (No one warned me ahead of time.) Other great books I've read recently: A Prayer for the City by Buzz Bissinger, Mystic River by Dennis Lehane (see the movie, too!), and Birds of Paradise by Diana Abu-Jaber - kind of fluffy, but not bad for a summer read.
- My mom and brother are currently in Germany for the week. Everyone in my family has been to Europe except for me. The only other country I've ever visited is Mexico, which was an amazing experience, although I have a hankering to see all the usual major sites around the world: Coliseum, Louvre, Great Wall, pyramids, etc.
- I used to be quite the little social butterfly, but I've become A LOT more withdrawn over the last couple of years. Blame the ED, blame the anxiety, blame the weather, I don't really know. I have a few super close friends, but my health (mental and physical) is a total off-limits topic of conversation, so it's hard not to feel lonely sometimes. Still, I'm really proud of pushing myself to maintain somewhat of a social life this summer despite not really ever feeling up for anything.
- Among my many recent restaurant outings, I've discovered gyros. Anyone else a fan? I was scared of them at first and only ordered one out of peer pressure, but since then I've become quite the tzatziki aficionado.
- My apartment this summer doesn't have cable and I'm bummed that I can't watch the Olympics. I've tried getting the live streaming online with my dad's account info, but NBC sucks. Any tips? Illegal methods welcomed.
- I used to judge my roommate for watching The Bachelorette, but then she made me give it a shot and I've gotta admit - it's a pretty juicy guilty pleasure. Emily is just a doll, is she not? I was totally Team Jef all the way. And Chris Harrison makes me laugh because I always get the sense that he is about to start guffawing at how ridiculous the whole premise of the show really is. But seriously, guys, it's been an emotional roller coaster this season. I was totally hooked. And I may or may not have also agreed to watch Bachelor Pad.
- Between work, school stuff starting up, and keeping in touch with family/friends, I've been sending approximately 5,000,000 texts and e-mails a day. And yes, I check my phone obsessively even when the light ISN'T blinking and I KNOW that I don't have any messages. I can't help it. I have a problem.
- My calendar is color-coded, and I recently had to make an entirely separate category for doctors' appointments. FML.
Gyros are great. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd ED does make us go within ourselves, and that's usually not a very bright place. I hope you have the strength and courage to go past your comfort zone, though. go out and do something! You are very lovable. <3
I agree that the ED stuff does get very isolating, but it's great that you're working at trying to have a more active social life! Good for you for challenging yourself like that!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the Olympic coverage, that really sucks. I hope you can find a way to still watch it, especially now that they're into the running events!