Sunday, June 17, 2012

Life Updatage

I feel like I've been writing about my treatment and recovery a lot lately - probably because that has been on my mind A LOT, but there's other stuff going on in my life too. My internship, for one, takes up most of my time during the week. I'm technically supposed to be working only thirty hours, but I tend to stay longer and volunteer for extra assignments because I enjoy it so much. My supervisors have been awesome and give me the independence to take on my own projects, which I really appreciate. I'm discovering that I actually have real interests and passions and talents outside of anorexia - who knew?

I also really like the other interns. In particular, I've gotten super close with two other girls my age, so it's nice to have lunch buddies and someone to grab coffee with and all that. The only semi-tricky part of the equation is that both girls are not-significantly-but-somewhat overweight, so calories/weight/exercise etc. are definitely common topics of conversation. I try to steer clear but, well, you know how it goes. Other than that, though, they are awesome and make the workday that much more fun.

On the weekends, my friends and I are taking advantage of the free time to explore College City and do things we're too busy for during the school year. Lots of spontaneous activities, let me tell you. So far we've been to the zoo, a couple museums, a massive old cathedral, farmers' markets, a baseball game, an outdoor play, and at least three new restaurants. The other night, my roommate and I had a friend over to the apartment to make pizza and drinks and eat cupcakes. I KNOW. Who am I? I'm not getting a ton of alone time, which is usually hard for me, but lately the distractions seem to be keeping me sane.

A few weeks ago, my roommate and I also started working in a food pantry for people with HIV or cancer. They come in and fill out grocery lists for a months' supply of food; we then fill their orders from the grocery center in the back, scan their items, and help them bring the loads to their cars. Sometimes it's boring work, but it has also been really satisfying to get over myself and my own food hangups, and do something useful. I take real pride in filling the orders accurately and getting people in and out efficiently. It's also a great chance to meet new people and chat and just, like, learn about the world around me. My life is so privileged compared to ninety percent of the population it's not even a little bit funny, and I never want to forget that. Remind me never to gripe about the cost of Boost ever again.

Um, what else? My aunt, uncle, and cousin were passing through College City this weekend, so I got dinner with them last night. My body image was sucking big time but other than that, not a whole lot of anxiety or obsessing over the meal. They actually even put the wrong sauce on my dish but instead of freaking out and picking around it or sending it back, I was all like whatevs no biggie, I'll eat it anyway.  Well, in the end I didn't actually eat a whole lot of it because the sauce they gave me was gross, but that was purely a taste/texture thing and not an ED thing. But who came home and had a Boost to make up for it? Oh, just me.


  1. You've got a lot of great stuff going on; that's great! Congrats on the pizza and cupcakes, along with the spontaneity! It sounds like you're in a really healthy place with that!

    The volunteering sounds wonderful. One of those things that not only makes a huge contribution to those around you, but also makes you feel good and helps with perspective. That's awesome!

    And congrats on Boosting yourself after you realized that your dinner was insufficient. So amazing that you did that on your own because you knew it was the right thing to do. It sounds like you're really staying committed to your health and wellness all around. Keep up the awesome work!

  2. Sounds like such an awesome time you've been having! Reminds me of a life lesson I've learnt: I lead a happier more exciting place when I'm well!

    I can relate to the friends who care too much about calories and exercise etc, but it sounds like you're handling it well, remember everyone has different needs and you need very different things than they do at the moment. Out of curiosity do they ever say anything or comment on your weight? I have some friends who profess their jealousy at my size, but after they learnt I didn't really like it they stopped.

    I'm so glad things seem to have been going well in terms of eating. You deserve this, your body deserves this. You are awesome!!!