Back to school! I have pretty much jumped in with both feet, even though my tummy is still a little unhappy and my whole body is numb with exhaustion. I'm not yet totally up to eating my usual bushels of fresh fruits and veggies (or meat and dairy), but I've expanded beyond plain toast and white soda. This little bout with food poisoning (I'm think it was food poisoning, although I can't actually say for sure) has really messed with me. Besides the part where I was violently ill for two days and meandered my way back across the continental United States in a nauseated fog, I'm still just feeling completely drained. At this point, it isn't even about me being sick anymore, but about my body being wiped out from the ordeal, and me not taking in enough calories and/or fluids to sustain myself.
Basically, I am terrified to eat too much or the wrong thing - not because of the usual anorexic reasons, but because I'm scared of upsetting my stomach and getting sick again. I'm not on the verge of puking everywhere all the time anymore, but I have no appetite and nothing really looks very good to me. Last night while my roommate was cooking herself dinner on the stove, I was standing in front of the open fridge wailing, "But I don't know what to eat!" It's really easy to forgo food when the thought of it makes you queasy and the memory of puking over the toilet is still fresh in your mind. So I've been letting myself get worn down from lack of calories without really realizing it, and then I wonder why my legs feel like lead and it takes me twenty minutes to climb six stairs.
My weight is down a few pounds - no surprise, really. I'm trying not to let that tempt me back into hmm isn't this nice, maybe I could just lose a little bit more, but I can definitely sense a teensy shift in my mindset. Not that I'm in full-on Operation: Weight Loss mode or anything, but part of me is secretly resisting the idea of gaining back the weight I've lost. Obviously, the lower number on the scale is a result of dehydration rather than real weight loss, but my mind is conveniently ignoring that fact. Like the new weight is suddenly the new maximum acceptable number, by some inexplicable Kaylee-decreed reasoning.
Food and weight stuff aside: I got my period again! Third time in two years. (Is it still appropriate for me to brag about this? To me, getting a semi-regular cycle is a complete novelty and I'm thrilled.) I skipped February and this month's isn't totally normal, but I'll take it! 'Scuse me while I go pop some Midol.