...and I completely underestimated the trigger-potential of an inadvertent X-lb weight loss. I keep telling myself that I'm still sick and need to be careful about what I put in my delicate little tummy, but it's clear by now that the real reason I'm not back on my meal plan is this: I'm tickled pink about the weight loss. The thought of regaining it is like suddenly the worst thing ever. A week ago, I had no intentions of losing weight; now that I have, though, I can't fathom how I let myself be seen in public at a weight X lbs higher.
I am amazed, actually, at how easily I dropped my calories and left them there. My appetite isn't totally back to its pre-stomach bug state, but it's getting there, and there's no reason for me to be eating skimpy portions of my old meals and snacks. Suddenly, I find myself with all these new self-imposed rules about what and when I can eat. I almost don't even notice them because I've been off my regular meal plan for a couple weeks now (first when I was away on vacation, and then when I was sick) so it's hard to remember what my normal plan looked like, but this isn't it. Now I'm just sort of left standing here wondering how did this happen?
I'm also amazed at how crappy it feels to be in an energy deficit, even if only for a few days. I am so, so tired. Not sleepy tired; more like my whole body is weak and heavy and totally wiped out. Every little movement seems to take a hundred times more effort than usual. I get winded walking around campus, and climbing stairs is complete torture.
Okay. Since I'm fully aware of what is happening and I'm not an idiot, here's the plan:
1) Eat full breakfast tomorrow. Maybe that will put my head in a sane enough place that will allow for full lunch and full dinner to follow.
2) Don't freak out and assume that I've overeaten if I am not hungry at any given meal time. My appetite is still out of whack, and the best way to get my body running properly again is to feed it.
3) Be honest with my dietician at my appointment tomorrow morning, even though it means she will probably send me home with a beefed up meal plan that I will want nothing to do with. Deal with that later.