I woke up this morning feeling fat. You know when you can just feel it, in every icky last ounce of yourself? Nothing's changed, I know. There's no reason I would be any fatter now than I was twelve hours ago. I'm gonna blame my period, which (A) makes me bloated as hell and (B) messes with my brain and emotions. Oh and I'm also gonna blame the fact that I'm shaking off a foot injury which has kept me from running the past several days. And if anyone wants to try claiming "fat is not a feeling," I'd like to reiterate: YES IT IS. And how 'bout ya just keep your mouth shut and just thank God quietly because you've clearly never felt fat before. Consider yourself #blessed.
Other evidence this is period-related: I got an intense craving for BEEF yesterday. Seriously. I was reading an article about the drought in California and how certain foods take tons of water to produce—specifically almonds, broccoli, (both of which I eat regularly....oops...sorry Mother Nature) and beef—and just the sight of the word beef literally made my mouth water. All I had with me was a Clif bar which was totally not gonna cut it. Maybe I need to up my iron intake... Ugh but meat is SO EXPENSIVE and I am poor, and thus I ate eggs again for dinner and my beef craving is as vicious as ever today. There is a chance I'll be stopping off for a package of hamburgers on my way home tonight.
Anyways. Let's hope this fat feeling dissipates soon. I've got a couple boring weeks left before my vacation adventure. My short-term solution involves baggy pants, substituting running for hard biking, lots of Netflix and other distractions, guzzling water (it makes me feel better, I don't know why), and podcast-listening rather than brooding or calorie-recounting. Anyone else following Undisclosed, the legalese-heavy follow-up to Serial? Not quite as intoxicating, but still fascinating.
All righty, keep fighting the good fight everyone. Take care.
Ugh, I'm so sorry you've got that feeling going on. Periods really mess with a lot of stuff! Especially in ED recovery, in my experience/opinion. I like your good distractions and plan for not getting sucked into obsessive behaviors. It *will* pass, even if it doesn't feel like it. Hang in there, friend!
ReplyDeleteFor this & other reasons, I've been on continuous birth control and haven't had a period in nearly five years. Better skin, no migraines, no using a 500 pill bottle of ibuprofen a month, and way stabler moods. Idk if thats an option for you, but its been lovely for me.
DeleteI hate the fat feeling, especially when it attacks so early in the morning. It got me this morning, too, when I caught a glimpse of my arms in the mirror.
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The impending monthlies tend to give me what my best friend calls "the dragon day." Even the bravest run screaming from the room when I walk into it.
Would you happen to be in the state of New York? Adams Fairacre Farms has a few locations, and AMAZING prices on farm-raised, cruelty-free meat. If you're not local, there might be something similar near you.
A funny podcast:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-yogpod/id304557271?mt=2
We listened to them for like 2 hours on the drive to Kentucky, I was crying by the end and could barely drive.
xo
A friend mentioned having a steak tonight and now it's all I want. And I'm a vegetarian and have been one since I was 15. I want a steak. And carrots. That's all I want. It's weird! (And no, I don't have an iron deficiency.) Bodies are so bizarre.
ReplyDeleteI also vote that fat IS a feeling. And that food cravings are weird and often don't really go away unless you honor them; your body is probably trying to tell you something. And if you satisfy that craving, it will probably go away and doesn't mean you'll keep eating X every day, if you're worried about the environmental sustainability or other issues with the craved food . . .
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