Sunday, January 11, 2015

Spastic Before the Storm

First things first: both my car and my washing machine are back in working order, and I have clean clothes to wear for the next week. And thank you to Ruby for reminding me that once upon a time, I used to pray for normal problems like car trouble, instead of horrible, mysterious, life-diminishing problems like undiagnosed nerve pain and mental illness. So, in the grand scheme of things, I'm in a relatively good place. Although I realized that contrary to the title of my last post, between the malfunctioning car AND washing machine, the score is technically Polar Vortex: 2, Kaylee: 0. If we're being technical about that sort of thing.

I bought a new wallet today. You guys like? It's from Fossil. Well, technically it's from the clearance rack at Macy's, which is how I could afford a Fossil wallet. But again, that's only if we're being technical tonight.


The inside is a lovely pink, but I'm not showing you that because it's already full of all my credit cards and insurance cards and my Panera rewards card and Starbucks gift cards (I got FOUR for coffee-loving reputation stretches far and wide) and IDs and such, so just take my word for it.

UGH YOU GUYS I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW. And somehow already managed to double-book myself twice next week, so now I have to send awkward "Oops actually I'm not available at that time!" e-mails to multiple people. My b.

Um, sorry. This is spastic. Maybe because I've been writing in my journal (like, real pen-to-paper writing) more regularly lately, so I've gotten a lot of the deep dark musings out of my system and have only the loose odds and ends left over. SORRY. I am super inconsistent with journaling—I go through phases where I get really into it and write every day, and then phases where I leave off and don't pick it up for months. But I will say that once I get going, I find old-fashioned writing to be extremely calming and therapeutic, so maybe I should be doing more of it.

I actually do have lots on my mind in terms of ED stuff, friends, relationships, depression....but I'm not in the mood to hash it all out just yet. I will say that I am still feeling way better than I was for a couple weeks in early December, and then a couple days early last week when I first got back to College City and was feeling very adrift and frustrated and alone. So, that's a huge relief, and maybe not-so-coincidentally coinciding with the start of the semester....I complain all day long about how busy and stressful it is to be in school, and I have a feeling the start of school is going to blow me over like a hurricane, but when it comes to free time, I.can'

So, here goes kicking off the last semester! Better check if I ever filled out my Intent to Graduate that was due a month ago....

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad to hear you've been journaling! I agree that pen-and-paper can be so powerful and really cathartic.

    Good luck this semester! I hope everything starts off (and continues to be) great!