My appetite confuses me. Sometimes I wake up starving first thing in the morning, and sometimes I wake up feeling bloated and full. Sometimes I'm starving for lunch at 10:30, and sometimes I could take it or leave it at noon. Sometimes I scarf my snack at 2pm, and sometimes I forget until 4...which is too close to dinner at 7, so I skip it only to be ravenous at 4:30. Sometimes my 2pm snack fills me up, and sometimes my stomach is growling an hour later.
And hunger. Sometimes it's typical tummy-rumbling, but more often it's light-headedness and bone-dead fatigue. I am convinced I get hypoglycemic easily, but I actually have no idea if that is true.
Maybe I am just hyperaware of this stuff, and the day-to-day differences are magnified because I still eat basically the same stuff at the same times every single day. Maybe I'm still growing! Up, not out, please.
They say your hunger cues and metabolism and all that even out after a while...how long is a while? Not sure. I've been an "officially" healthy weight (BMI-wise) for....hmm...around two years now? Maybe 18 months? So, I guess not that long in the grand scheme of things, but it would be nice to know things are settling into some sort of normal rhythm. I haven't weighed myself in a while so I'm not sure what's up with that, but all my clothes fit about the same, I guess. I've gotten my intake up to a pretty solid, normal amount and have maintained it for a long time now, which is a HUGE improvement for me. Based on appetite alone, I am typically more often hungry than not, but upping my intake still kind of scares the crap out of me. Over the past year or so I have been trying to increase my fat intake, so that I now eat a relatively high-fat diet, without really changing my calories much, with the idea that that would be more satisfying. I'm not sure if I feel any more satisfied, but I'm sure all the peanut butter, walnuts, olive oil, and cheeses aren't doing any harm
I am hungry right now, can you tell? Maybe I need to stop obsessing about this and just EAT.
I can relate to this so much Kaylee
ReplyDeleteI am waiting patiently for the time when my weight evens out
I have probably over shot my set point by now
So I am hoping my weigh will settle down
Please tell me it does......
Keep hanging in there
Always here for ya x
hey Ruby - not sure I can offer any assurances as I'm still muddling through a lot of the same issues myself right now! My weight gain has definitely leveled off and although I'm at a lifetime high, I can't say whether I've "overshot" as I haven't really maintained a healthy intake/weight consistently since high school. My healthy adult weight/set point is kind of an unknown right now....however, anecdotally it does seem like people go through an adjustment period after which their weight and metabolism do normalize. Think about how long you'd been restricting/purging etc, and compare that to how long you've been in recovery. It makes sense that it would take a looong time to undo that damage and restore some of your body's trust in you. Also remember—and I have trouble with this too, but I'm trying—that being a certain shape or size or number on the scale is not the worst thing in the world. I can say from experience that that does get easier with time.
DeleteHang in there and as always I will be following your story!!