Sunday, February 9, 2014

Weekend Stressors

Feels like I oughta get all my posting in over the weekend because once Monday hits, it's like hopping on a treadmill set just a notch or two over my comfort speed.

Update on the guy situation: we had plans to get coffee Friday evening. On Thursday night, he texted me asking if I wanted to make it dinner instead, to which I stuck to my guns and said NO. Not only because of him and that whole situation, but because it had been a LONG week and I was tired and stressed and did not want to deal with a dinner out. So I lied and told him that I already had dinner plans. I was supposed to get off work at five and meet him at five-thirty, but of course I got held up and didn't end up leaving the clinic until almost six, and didn't have a chance to get my phone and update him. I called him when I was finally leaving, and we vaguely agreed to reschedule. And then I just ended up feeling guilty again.

Overall the weekend was okay—a little fuller than I would have liked, but still okay. I really try to keep my weekend days as open and stress-free as possible, since I have no time to myself during the week and really rely on the weekends to recharge and catch up on schoolwork, cleaning, laundry, errands, etc. Unfortunately I slept really poorly on Friday night and woke up the next morning feeling really crummy. Then I had to rush to get my car to the garage because my brakes have been having issues AGAIN. This wasn't a huge deal in itself, but it required me to trek back and forth between there and my apartment after dropping it off and then to pick it up (just under two miles one way). And then because I am anal and won't adjust my workout schedule for nothin', I stopped off at the gym and pounded out X miles on the treadmill in between these two treks. So overall I just ended up getting really tired and worn down.

THEN one of my friends ended up inviting me to a bar/restaurant and a movie, so I went out even though I wasn't totally up for it. Obviously I had a good time and am glad I went, but it just added to the overall exhausting nature of the day. And I hate that this is still an issue, but I skipped a snack in anticipation of the meal out and ended up starving, weak, and cranky by the time I got there.

Today was better, although I found myself wide awake at about 5am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I just got up and went to the gym. After I got home, ate, and showered, I discovered that the water supply to my washing machine was frozen (second time in a month) so I couldn't do laundry. I AM WOEFULLY SHORT ON CLEAN CLOTHES. Then I spent a few hours on campus doing work before getting coffee with a friend, which was nice. Afterwards I came home, worked some more, made dinner, watched the Olympics while I ate, panicked a little about what I should work on next, decided to work on a GRE practice set which did nothing for my self-confidence, and now I'm considering running away to a tropical island for a few weeks.

I'm mostly fine, just tired. I need to start saying no to things. I need to stop worrying about other people's feelings at the expense of my own. I need to figure out a way to study for the GRE that makes my practice test scores go up instead of down, which seems to be the trend lately. I need to get some SLEEP, and I need to do better at fueling myself for the insane, never-ending treadmill run that my life has become.

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