Hope everyone is having a lovely week. I've just been hanging out at home today, having a nice Christmas Eve with my mom and dad, baking bread and cake for tomorrow, and generally feeling pretty okay about life. I haven't started any of my new meds yet (they're getting shipped in sometime this week) but it's such a huge relief to have a plan in place and know that I won't be sick and messed up forever, and that the end of all this crap is in sight.
I know that I talk about this stuff a lot, but it's hard not to think about it. Sorry to be boring. The pain is on my mind twenty-four hours a day, like this horrible nagging burden of a reminder of what I've done to myself. As if feeling like a pudgeball isn't reminder enough.
Speaking of, I'm still not super happy about my weight, but I'm feeling more motivated to maintain it than I have in a long, long time. The last time I weighed this much was back in the summer of 2011, and even then I was sloowly cutting back on food, creeping up on exercise, and fully planning to restrict once I got away from my parents and back to college. Now, I realize that my body absolutely must be at a healthy weight to function, and I don't want to risk losing my period and messing up my body all over again. The stakes are too high, and the risks just aren't worth it.
Anyway, onto some lighter updates: I saw my best friend from high school the other day. In fact, we spent about three hours chit-chatting away in a coffee shop about school and future plans and boys and stuff. We are both kind of in disbelief that we'll be graduating from college in less than six months. I don't think my parents quite believe it either, since they keep putting off making their reservations for graduation weekend... Thanks for the show of good faith, Mom and Dad!
I am also rediscovering some delicious foods that, for some reason, I only eat at home. Omelets, clementines, steak, green beans, crackers, cashews, etc. I'm lazy about cooking at school, and get stuck in a perpetual food rut where I always eat the same stuff over and over again. No time or energy for being adventurous during the school year, I guess.
Oh! And my eyes still feel GREAT. My mom keeps calling it my "Christmas miracle." No one out there ever take your eyeballs for granted, okay?
So glad you're having a nice time at home! It's really great that the new health info is a source of motivation for you to keep pushing forward in recovery and working at staying healthy! Sounds like the get-together with your friend was a fun time!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the rediscovered yummy food!
i am so glad that things have been looking up lately. and i KNOW that 2013 is just gonna get better and better!!! the new doctor sounds like an angel is disguise and i am so glad you were able to find that. don't ever give up - recovery is worth it!!! enjoy your holiday break ; )
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