My parents are coming to visit this weekend, which is exciting and a little stressful. First of all, I have truckloads of schoolwork, so I won't have a ton of time to spend with them Another issue is meals - they aren't staying in my apartment, so we're going to end up eating a lot of meals out. I am generally okay ("okay" being a relative term ) with the occasional meal out here and there, but multiple days of lunch/dinner out tend to really mess with me and cause a ton of anxiety.
Food has been kind of weird for me lately. I am still obsessive and irrational and super rigid, but it feels different now, like it changes daily and I am constantly having to reevaluate how I feel about recovery and, therefore, what I should eat. I seem to alternate between two opposite poles. Sometimes I spend an hour in front of the mirror despising my body and convincing myself that any recovery-minded notions are insane because I'm FAT and need to lose weight fast...and sometimes I get super motivated to feed my body what it needs to reach its healthiest state and start repairing all the damage of the past few years. I try to hang onto the latter one all I can, because it feels good and makes eating a whole heck of a lot easier. But gosh darn it, my body image is so bad. It's not possible for me to actually look as fat as I think I do, is it? I want to pull my eyeballs out and try on a different pair, just to see what the world around me actually looks like.
Enough of that silliness. I saw a new doctor* this morning. And he was WONDERFUL. I know that I bitch and moan about how doctors suck and such all the time, but I've also had a few gems. This guy, for one, plus my gastroenterologist, my psychiatrist, and my ophthalmologist. Wish I wasn't anonymous right now so I could give you all recommendations (as well as tell you which ones to avoid!!).
How 'bout that debate? I won't go all political on you, but I do love a good debate. Too bad this one was b-o-r-i-n-g. YAWN. Except Obama's zinger at the end about Romney's busy first day in office with all the angry pro-Obamacare Democrats, that made me laugh.
In other current events, I'm a little freaked out about the peanut butter recall. Peanut butter makes up a not-insignificant portion of my daily intake and I'm not sure what I would do without it. I mean, I suppose there are other kinds of sandwiches out there...but I don't do variety, remember?
Okay, I guess I should get back to my truckloads of schoolwork. Take care everyone, happy Friday!
*If anyone's counting, my medical team currently includes nine doctors. I've seen way more over the past year or so (probably around 20?) but these are the ones I see at least semi-regularly.