I realize it's been a while since I wrote a "real" post, like with actual details and updates on the happenings of my life. I am halfway through my first semester of PhD school and thus far I am enjoying my classes, hitting it off with my other cohort members, and working my butt off but feeling inspired. I'm glad to be getting down to the nitty-gritty of it—we had a proposal due this week and I'm giving a heavy duty theory presentation next week, so those are occupying the majority of my brainpower right now.
Mood- and sanity-wise I am getting about back to my baseline after a few rough weeks. My anxiety was extremely high for much of August and September, and it got interspersed with pockets of depression where I was crying constantly, totally low energy, buckling under a vague feeling of stress but not quite seeing the point of anything. It is a strange sensation to be entering this amazing, life-altering opportunity (a top doctoral program) surrounded by celebrity faculty and planning my future career while simultaneously feeling like life is a black hole. Anyway, just over the past couple weeks I've started feeling my moods stabilize, my mind center, and normal excitement/inspiration kick in.
I did muster up the will to call my old psychiatrist for an appointment only to discover that she no longer takes my insurance, and each visit would cost me $175 out of pocket. So, it looks like I'm in the market. But then almost as quickly as that all unfolded, I convinced myself I didn't need medication anymore. Will happily listen to alternate opinions on that.
YOU GUYS I HAVE A DATE. I met this guy a few weeks ago at some graduate student happy hour even thing and we totally hit it off, and then he friended me on Facebook and I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED for him to send me a message.* He finally did on Thursday—so we started chatting, and then I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED some more for him to ask me out. He was playing it so cool! He was like a stone-cold cucumber!! Literally I was sitting at home alone waiting for a boy to call.** But then he finally did!
- Keep my mama bear in your thoughts! She's getting icky cataract surgery.
- Speaking of my badass mom, she sent me a Wonder Woman card in the mail with the message: "You are my Wonder Woman!" written inside. Everyone deserves a mother like that.
- I think, knock on wood, my stress fractured foot may finally be totally healed. Hasn't bothered me at all recently, despite abusing it a bit with too much walking.
- College City temperatures ranged from 48 to 86 degrees over the course of four days this week. I need more stability in my life.
Have a great weekend everyone, much love to you all.
*Yes, I know I could have messaged him first. I'm old-fashioned. SUE ME.
**My mother is a strong, brave, badass feminist woman and raised me better than this.