I was really nervous and embarrassed about hitting "publish" on what felt like a whiny, self-indulgent post the other night. But then I checked back and, just wow. So much support and understanding and positivity coming at me from you guys, I am like literally bursting with gratitude. Reading the comments made me want to cry (in a good way, I mean!) So, thanks for not writing me off as super bratty and insensitive and self-absorbed! Y'ALL ROCK
Things have definitely picked up since last week. My appointment with R actually went well, even though he did indeed make me add another snack. I put up a bit of a fight since I am still gaining, albeit slowly, and didn't think that I should have to add more food until the gain totally stalls...but of course I lost that battle. (I tend to lose most arguments with R, although he's usually sneaky about it and ends up letting me think I won until I get home later and realize: wait, what did I just agree to do??) R gave me props for following the meal plan and gaining a few weeks in a row, but pointed out that I'm still gaining pretty slowly, and that what seemed like a decent gain last week was probably due in part to pre-period bloating. And he's right - my weight jumped up a few pounds before/during my period, but has since slid back down to where it was about two weeks ago.
Anyway, point of the story: we spent a while bickering over what constituted a reasonable rate of gain, and whether or not I should have to bump up the meal plan, despite continuing to gain on the current amount of food. I definitely tend to gravitate towards a mentality of "as little as possible" - as little food, as little weight. Why gain/eat more than is absolutely necessary? R, astute fellow that he is, reminded me that sticking to the bare minimum is hardly a practical, necessary or enjoyable way to go through life. Trying to believe him...
So, goals for the week: 1) Meal plan, including new stuff, 2) No more irrational meltdowns, 3) Finish reading a book for my thesis, 4) Stay away from news websites for a while. They depress me, clearly.
Completely unrelated: Anyone have any good TV show recommendations? I've already watched Damages (I highly recommend this one, by the way!), 30 Rock, Modern Family, HIMYM, Weeds, and most of Lost (it made my head hurt and I just couldn't get through it all). And I just finished Mad Men, which totally had me hooked and now I'm floundering. Shut up, I already know I watch too much TV.