I'm not feeling creative enough to write a coherent post, so here are some miscellaneous updates:
- I met with my ED doctor yesterday to go over the results of some blood tests I had a couple of weeks ago, which were all mostly normal. One of my liver enzymes is ALWAYS elevated and no one has any idea why. It was like that a year ago, six months ago, and again now. I wasn't on any medication when the blood was drawn, I'm not a heavy drinker, and I don't purge, so no doctor has ever been able to explain it. Apparently it's not really any cause for concern, so whatever.
- I have a LOT of work to do. Between my classes and my internship, I'm already feeling kind of swamped. The first few weeks of the semester are always nerve-wracking as I try to figure out my new schedule and establish routines, so I've just got to ride it out.
- My cousin was in town on a business trip yesterday afternoon, so we spent a few hours at Starbucks catching up. I hadn't seen him in a long time, since before I got sick last year, and we had to dodge some iffy territory (e.g. why I wasn't at a family gathering last spring) but for the most part, it was nice to see him and reconnect.
- I'm wondering why my body trusts me enough to give me a period, but I still don't trust my body enough to eat when I'm hungry. If my stomach starts growling before Meal Time, I will ignore it and wait. Obviously my hunger/fullness cues are beyond screwy, but I wish that I were confident enough to respond to this most basic bodily signal without my brain getting in the way.
- Tonight, my friend is having a birthday celebration downtown. I wish I could be more excited to go out than worried about food/drink calories, but really, who would I be without some calorie-related panic? I'm used to the pre-food-outing anxiety, even expect it, but that doesn't make it any less real or intense. Still, I know that I will go tonight, I will have fun, and I will wonder afterwards what I was even worried about in the first place.
Okay, this post was a shameless exercise in procrastination. I'm off to get some work done, run errands, and clean the bathroom. Have a great weekend, everyone!