- I am 20 years old but I've been mistaken for a high school freshman twice in the last year.
- I am a mix of six different ethnicities.
- I played the violin for 15 years and almost went to a music conservatory for college. Now, I barely play at all and I haven't touched my violin in almost a year.
- I bite my nails like crazy.
- My mom and I have always been super close, but my anorexia has put a major strain on our relationship. We talk to each other about pretty much everything except for that.
- Nature makes me happy but I am intensely afraid of poison ivy.
- And snakes.
- I have a 23-year-old brother who is the smartest, funniest person I know. Growing up, we fought nonstop but now we are much closer.
- I tried to read a book on my mom's Kindle but hated it so much that the book was totally ruined for me. I had to go buy a paperback copy and reread it.
- Depression, diabetes, cancer, alcoholism, and schizophrenia all run in my family.
- My dad looks Middle Eastern (he's not) and anytime I am in an airport with him, we get stopped and searched.
- Six months ago, I decided to give up Diet Coke because I read that it's bad for your bones. I've pretty much abstained in that time with only a couple of lapses. We'll see if I can hold out during the summer.
- I refuse to give up coffee.
- I know I'm not supposed to, but I still weigh myself twice a day.
- I am terrified of giant squids. Not sharks, just squids. Even in swimming pools.
- When I was in fourth grade, my teacher told me that I should try reading Gone With the Wind when I got older. I made my mom go buy it for me that day and I finished it within the week. I have since read it about five more times.
- The same teacher also once told me: "No one is going to know that you're smart unless you speak up and let them know."
- My biggest insecurity is that people will think I am shallow for having anorexia.
Re: feeling shallow: The very first time I ever cried in therapy was when my psychologist called me shallow (I have a post about that somewhere wayback). I think it's a really common fear for ED sufferers, which is sad because EDers tend to be highly intelligent, driven, involved, and successful people. My therapist didn't mean it the way I and many other EDers fear, though. This disease and everything you have gone through are in no way shallow, try not to let worry about that challenge how you see the legitimacy of your struggles.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Gone with the Wind. I didn't read it until college, and immediately saw why it's such a classic. Damn shame she didn't write more books. The book 'Rhett Butler's People' is an obvious spinoff, but I thought it was well done, although it does tame Scarlett more than I liked.
I'm also a paper purist with books. I'm on the fence about the e-reader trend in general: if it means more people are actually reading (I'm not convinced more people aren't just collecting electronic files out of a consumerist fad) then I'm for it, as long as it doesn't hurt the print market such that I can't get my beloved paperbacks anymore.
Really glad you decided to launch the blog!
Hi Cammy, thanks for reading! I actually remember the post you mentioned (.....what? I'm not obsessed with your blog.....) and I definitely relate to how you felt in your therapy session. I worry a lot that people will judge me for having an ED, but at the same time I also worry that they will judge me for "getting fat" in recovery. So, basically, win-win!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I HAD to comment. I am obsessed with GWTW, too! I've read the book 8 or 9 times and own and watch the movie at least 2x/year.
ReplyDeleteAnd that teacher sounds awesome.