Well, I made it through my harrowing ordeal last night. Just kidding, it actually went fine and I had a decent time. It was a big event with lots of people and food/drinks, so there was definitely an underlying anxiety factor throughout - but I got through, ate a reasonable amount, realized that no one really pays all that much attention to what I am/am not eating, and survived to blog about it. Story over.
The hardest part was getting ready beforehand, actually. I was feeling super nervous about the night ahead and super uneasy about the food in my stomach from earlier (literally same thing I eat every day. No idea why it made me feel 10 pounds heavier than usual yesterday). I was also a little fuzzy on the dress code for the event, meaning I had to walk a fine line between underdressed and overdressed while ALSO taking into account the fact that I felt like a whale. But I made it out the door with all body parts appropriately covered in nice-ish pants, a nice-ish top, a cardigan, and flats. Soo...mission accomplished?
Anyway, I wish there were a more exciting story to tell, but that was pretty much it. I don't know why it's so hard for me to believe that the fate of the world doesn't hinge on how much I eat in any given night, but really, it's hard. Just another product of a disorderly and profoundly self-absorbed brain. It can't be very interesting for you guys to read about my periodic freak-outs over this kind of stuff just to come to the same anti-climactic conclusion every time - sorry about that!
I also promise to try and stop complaining about how much I hate therapy. My life isn't always so boring, I swear. I'll think of better stuff to write about soon.
Happy Easter and belated Passover, everyone!
Glad the event went well, and that you survived! I can really relate to the pre-event stress. For me, that time stretch is generally more stressful/anxiety-filled than the event itself. I hope things in therapy improve. Hope you have a nice rest of the holiday weekend!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you had a good time. I have a lot of the same issues with going out, although it's definitely improved with time and practice. It's always a little nerve wracking to be unsure of dress code, but chances are that if no one had specified it to you, then no one else had had it specified to them either, so a best guess on your part will probably fit in just fine. I'm glad you challenged yourself and went to this despite the stress!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are never boring, my dear, you are actually incredibly insightful. It doesn't take a lot of introspection or analysis to just say "I went to therapy" rather than write about what was good/bad/frustrating/enlightening, which you do, which is awesome. This blog is your kingdom (queendom?) so don't feel bad for whatever you want/need to air out here!