Saturday, April 7, 2012

Challenging Night Ahead

In about an hour, I will be heading out for a potentially VERY scary night - lots of food, drinks, new people, eek. I am proud to report that I have not restricted today in preparation...although to be honest, I'm having major feelings of guilt and regret about that, and I'm starting to panic about just how much food there's going to be at this thing. Up until about thirty minutes ago, I was more excited than nervous about it, but I've since started to get pretty anxious.

Some important things to remember:
A) I have eaten a completely normal amount of food thus far today, so there is no reason that my stomach should be sticking out any more than it does any other day when I eat the exact same amount. Hence, my mind must be playing tricks on me and I have not actually gained five pounds since lunch.
B) Regardless of how much food there is tonight, I am in control of how much I eat. Although there might be some peer pressure to eat more than I am comfortable with, no one is going to force food down my throat. And if someone tries, I will call the cops because in all seriousness, that sounds like assault.
C) Even if I do end up eating more than what feels safe, one big meal is not going to make me gain weight.
D) Even if I do end up gorging on an unimaginable amount of calories and do gain weight, I am underweight and need to gain anyway.
E) But really, I won't gain weight.
F) Maybe just some water weight on the scale tomorrow, but that will go away.
G) Really.
H) I'm not fat.
I) It's gonna be okay.

Okay. I think I'm ready. Full report to come tomorrow.


  1. I absolutely agree with all of the above. I hope you get a chance to relax and enjoy yourself, and major kudos for challenging yourself with doing this instead of staying home for the sake of routine. You rock, have fun!

  2. Yup, yup, yup! Good for you for grounding yourself in the facts! This is how recovery happens; you are "in the shit of it." You have to work through all these moments just like you're doing here. Way to go for taking a very active role in your recovery!

    Btw, you're probably out and maybe back by the time I saw this... so I hope everything worked out okay.