Tomorrow I am flying out to visit a friend from school, and I'm thrilled to say that I am actually excited about something for the first time in a long, long time. Actually, I'm 90% excited to see her and 10% excited to miss a day of this stupid internship.
This friend, K, was my roommate last fall before I moved back home. We met freshman year through a mutual friend and since then have become majorly close. We think alike and we get along pretty perfectly. Basically, we just get each other.
Another thing - she is the most normal, healthy, sane eater I have ever met. She eats three square meals a day, snacks when she's hungry, has dessert when she feels like it, works out to feel good, etc. In this way, she baffles me.
K was probably one of the first people to notice my wacky eating habits over the past year. She never got confrontational about it, but I definitely sensed concern. (I also think she MAY have mentioned something/possible e-mailed my mom to say she was worried...but I have no proof. If I ever confirmed that this were true, I would honestly just respect and love her even more. But again, no proof. And I don't think I will ever ask her about it because it would just put us both in an uncomfortable position.)
Similarly, I think I started realizing how far gone I was by comparing my eating habits to hers. Eventually, I just started avoiding her at mealtimes because the differences between us were just to extreme to ignore. It would have been funny - if not for the whole anorexia thing.
Anyway, rambling finished. I am ridiculously excited to see her tomorrow, even though it will be a whirlwind trip bookended by plane rides, which I despise. I'm a little nervous about the food stuff, obviously, but tend to do okay now eating with others. I fear drawing unwanted attention to myself ALMOST as much as I fear getting fat, so I usually make a point of eating normal(ish) portions and not engage in any blatantly disordered behaviors when I'm with people outside my family. Total peer pressure, 100%, but I guess it's good for me.
Off to finish (start) packing.