Life is just hard sometimes, man. I'm really missing my friends. It seems like every year more and more of them move away, and it gets harder and harder to make new ones. My friends have generally always come from classes, or just the general day-to-day of being in school. But now since the program is much smaller and I'm the youngest of my cohort by a few years, it just seems like no one is really in the same life stage as me; everyone goes home to their spouse/kids. I've never really done any clubs or student groups or anything, but I'm trying to get out there and meet some new peeps. I went to a graduate student event in a different part of the university the other night, and there's a happy hour one night next week. It was refreshing to meet people outside my department and I even met a guy but it's hard to say yet if any real friendships will materialize. It is not in my nature to be super forward about initiating relationships, but what have I got to lose, right? This TED talk makes me cry every time and I am trying so hard to live by this.
Isolation is death for me. Yes I am introverted and yes I need alone time and yes big crowds/wild parties/sloppy bars stress me out, but loneliness is worse. I can't handle it. I'm worried that the more I let myself isolate and bathe my brain in all the sad chemicals, the harder it'll be to pull myself out of an entrenched depression.