Monday, April 13, 2015

Flying Time, Kicking a Habit, and Shenanigans

Can't believe how quickly time is going by. Is it April??? Doesn't it seem like I was just home for Christmas? Anyway, this just hit me because I have a Major Presentation coming up. I have been working on this for months and I'm so proud of how my research turned out, and now just have to make sure I don't make an idiot of myself trying to talk about it in front of a bunch of people.

I only have about a week or so left at my internship, hallelujah. And not sure how much time left at my other job, but depending on if/when I move (a whole other issue....the Decision is still not made....) I'll definitely be quitting by July at the latest.

You guys wanna hear something weird? Usually being stressed out and overwhelmed makes my weight- and food-related anxiety go through the roof, but over the past few weeks—during which I have been more stressed, overwhelmed, paralyzed with indecision, scared, etc. etc. etc.—I have had almost zero ED thoughts. Like, none. My body image isn't even just not bad, it's not even on my mind. And I have abruptly stopped writing down my daily intake (with calories, fats and carbs, and exercise). This is something I've been doing for YEARS. And I never planned to stop. But I just did.

Maybe this is all because I am suddenly being confronted with BIG questions that, like, actually matter. Like where I'm going to live for the next 4-5 years, how I'll fare in the big bad academic job market, what my life will look like at 30, and 40, and beyond. These are the times it really hits me that eating disorders SUCK and have no place in the life I want to live.

Other shenanigans:
- My friends and I had a picnic yesterday! It was amazing.
- I saw Insurgent the other night. Maybe this is because I never read the books, but does anyone else find the entire premise completely illogical? Not just because it's a made-up world, but because the premise literally does not make coherent sense? Other than that the movie was fine. Lots of running and climbing and shooting and such. And the girl has short hair now.
- My period is late again. Or maybe I should stop considering it "late" now, because 5-10 days late seems to be the new normal. #notpregnant
- I went on two impromptu shopping sprees last week that I could only afford thanks to my tax refund. Sometimes the thought of shopping for clothes is THE WORST THING EVER and sometimes I go on these tears. It can be hard with that pesky ED thing, but I actually adore clothes and jewelry and shoes and wish I had thousands more dollars to spare every month than I actually do.

Ugh well I have an exam tomorrow. So obviously, tonight was the perfect occasion to catch up on blogging for the first time in a week. Peace out, Girl Scouts.

1 comment:

  1. I hope the decision about schools gets easier and feels right for you! Awesome that you're feeling like you're in a good place ED-wise! Sounds like eagerly anticipating the future is helping with that!

    Hope your week is going well!