It's been a while since this has been much of an issue and I really hate to admit it, but lately I've been scared of the scale. In that old, consuming, irrational-but-so-real way that sits like a bucketful of dread in the pit of my stomach. The number has inched up, like, literally an inch in the past couple of weeks and now all of a sudden I'm on high alert: am I eating too many pretzels? Too much peanut butter? Not enough carrots? Not enough water? Is it sodium-induced weight? Strength-training induced weight? ARRRRRRGHHH I hate that I am obsessing like this. I still weigh myself a lot, but usually it's just a routine check with not much anxiety involved, especially since my weight has been rock solid within the same 2ish-pound range for the past several months. Then about a week or two ago my weight crept up a tiny bit which freaked me out but not too because because I was also on my period...but now my period's over and my weight is still sort of higher than normal and now I'm REALLY freaked out and I DON'T LIKE FEELING LIKE THIS.
Eating disorders are stupid. I've got an hour left at work and will NOT spend it worrying about dinner. Peace, everyone.