I've been getting this weird nervous butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling a lot lately; it's not anxiety really, or at least it doesn't feel like anxiety in the usual sick, sinking feeling of dread. I feel physically nervous, even when my mind is mostly pretty chill. Very strange. I guess I've been pretty stressed out and wound up about school stuff lately, but for the most part I have been pretty freaking happy. So why the nerves all of a sudden?
We read an article in one of my classes last week about young adulthood - that period from age 18 to about 26-27 or so when your whole life is in flux pretty much all the time, and you move every six months, and you can never pay your bills, and you're stuck somewhere between being a grown-up with responsibilities and being a student with assignments due every week...anyone know the feeling? Even without the added specter or mental illness lurking in the background, it's a pretty stressful, unstable, chaotic time for anyone. Reading about this made me feel a little better - more normal - but it also made me realize that this might be my life for the next several years, and I need to figure out how to handle the pressure.
Running helps a ton, but I don't want to rely on that too much for obvious reasons. I used to crochet a lot, or read, or watch TV shows, but it often feels like I just don't have time anymore. Hence the stress, I suppose.
I am trying to be smart about this and not let these fleeting nerves spiral out of control into the debilitating anxiety I had a year or two ago. But it's hard to stay on top of it when I'm otherwise doing pretty well, you know? More and more often, I find myself thinking: I'm happy. But somehow, at the same time, those butterflies in my stomach are going a mile a minute.