Moving on: Well, it's been a while since this kid got a food-related therapy assignment. Ugh. Since my pain has been a lot more tolerable and I'm in generally good spirits, the content of my appointments is pretty ED-centric these days. Like I mentioned in another post, I'm not so good about hitting my calories every day—sometimes because I'm simply busy and forget snacks, but mostly because restricting is easy and familiar and feels right. I never set out to restrict, but if I miss a snack—I'm certainly not going to make it up. The timing issue is still big; like if I miss my 3:00 snack, I won't eat it at 4:30 because that's too close to dinner... you know? That kind of thinking.
Starting a couple of weeks ago, Dr. P wanted me to just focus on getting back on track with my usual meal plan, and I did. Not a huge deal, really. But NOW she wants me to add stuff because she still thinks I don't eat enough and I'm running more and my weight is stable and lalalala. So the current goal is to tack on an extra XXX calories (more than 100 and less than 500 #that'sallI'msaying) per day for the whole week. I can tell you right now that it hasn't happened the past two days, but I'm really going to try starting today. Or maybe tomorrow. SHUT UP. You guys are the worst.
Oh! An update on the hot pepper cream: it hurts like hell when I first use it, but then slowly wears off. And my pain has been pretty significantly reduced in the past couple weeks. Too soon to say if the cream is working or I'm just having a random good couple of weeks, but I'll take it for now! Thanks for all the good wishes on this.
And finally, THIS IS ME: Signs your perfectionism has gotten out of control