I mentioned in my last post that I've been having trouble sleeping, which I think I can safely attribute to the following three factors:
1) horrible sleep hygiene
3) poor eating
The first couple are pretty straightforward; I often stay on my computer or phone until the wee hours, and I've heard over and over again that the artificial backlight can mess with your natural sleep rhythms of whatever. Plus I have a teeny bladder but guzzle water pretty much up until I get into bed, which means that I not-infrequently have to get up to pee a couple times before I actually fall asleep. PLUS I am a worrier, and use my me-time after I turn the lights out to contemplate all the possible scenarios in which things might go wrong in the near or distant future.
But the eating thing has stayed under my radar because it's pretty subtle, and it wasn't until the wise, wise JS reminded me that under-eating wreaks havoc on my sleep that I realized, huh. I haven't been eating that well lately.
It's little stuff, like skipping a snack here and there. Actually, that has happened at least three or four times in the past couple weeks that I can remember - where my afternoon snack got delayed for some reason (work, meetings, etc.) and by the time I remembered it, my brain latched onto that old habit of: How about I just don't? And as soon as that thought crosses my mind, it's pretty much guaranteed that I'm going to skip it.
This is a weird position for me because on the surface, I am completely uninterested in active restriction and going all hard core Weight Loss. And when I do skip the snack, I'm STARVING. My body is used to getting fed regularly these days, and going without those XXX calories between lunch and dinner (usually a LONG time due to my class schedule) is rough. But even when my stomach is twisting and aching with hunger, the old compulsion still wins out.
I cannot emphasize how irrational this is. I'm not trying to restrict. I have a target number of calories that I aim to eat per day, and skipping the snack puts me significantly under. I repeat all those reasons that Food is Good and Restricting is Bad over and over again, but that doesn't seem to change much in the moment.
Anyway, I suppose it's a good thing that I find this unintentional restriction to be frustrating rather than satisfying, although that's really no excuse for continuing to let it happen. I know better.