This decision is making me sick. I hate that I am in a fantastic position regarding my future, but am getting totally bogged down by the what if what if what if of making a wrong decision, focusing on the wrong factors, sealing a miserable situation for myself, etc. etc. etc.
I know that I'm not giving you guys enough specifics, and I apologize—that's the nature of blogging pseudonymously, I suppose. Basically I want to combine certain features of both universities and meld them into one Super School in one Super City. Sound reasonable?
Doesn't help that PMS is in full-force this week, I've got a paper and presentation tomorrow, I'm feeling fat, and the drugs from Dr. A haven't yet had any real noticeable effect. We are fast approaching the end of the month, which was my self-imposed deadline for determining whether or not the steroid was going to work; I'm feeling a little better but nowhere near 100%. Maybe this is a case of "the grass is always greener," but I really do feel like this decision would be orders of magnitude less difficult if I were feeling physically capable. My health makes everything seem completely unmanageable and overwhelming, and the stakes of a bad decision are so, so much higher.
Hopefully Dr. P will have some words of wisdom tomorrow. And at some point, I need to just make the freaking choice and remember that these are two years of my life, not an eternity.
Oh, and you all might be glad to hear that we did finally manage to get that bottle of wine open using a combination of two paperclips, a knife, a screwdriver, and a pair of pliers. Suffice it to say that the integrity of the cork has been compromised.