Friday, January 8, 2016

Partial Recap

Wowza I didn't realize it had been almost a month since my last post. I never intended to drop off the map; blogging was just starting to feel like a chore, never felt like I had much to say, and once I got out of the habit... you know. So anyway, definitely can't recap every detail of the last month but I'll try to hit some of the main points.

I've been back on Celexa (20mg) for about 8ish weeks now and my oh my does this stuff work. One day I was a shivery, manic, irrational BASKET CASE and within two weeks of starting the med, I was basically back to my old (slightly less irrational) self. Ugh, it actually frustrates me how much it works, because I was half-hoping to have an excuse to stop taking it. I'm still nervous about the med causing weight gain, but for the time being I'm not willing to go back to being an anxious wreck. My new psychiatrist had also prescribed Klonopin at night to help regulate my sleep, but I was nervous about getting dependent on it so I rarely take it. My sleep was horrible for most of the fall, except for a week my mom came to stay with me in October, the week I went home for Thanksgiving, and the two weeks I went home for Christmas. So apparently I need my mother in the house to be able to sleep. Am I three? I told my mom this as further evidence that I need a dog to keep me company and she was like "Or you need a significant other and move in together." Uh....when your mother would prefer you shack up with a dude than get a pet.... #weird

Anyway. When I had finished up my semester, I flew to East Coast City (a few hours from where my parents live) to spend a couple days with a friend from high school, then we drove back to our parents' hometown where I spent the next two weeks hanging out with my parents, cooking with Mama Bear, annoying my brother, reading 5,234,945,765,789 books (seriously between my Kindle  and Barnes & Noble I probably spent $100 on books #priorities). Got back to College City just before New Years and have since been spending lots of time with The Boy...

So yeah, things are getting a little more serious, you could say :). For a few months we were just talking, getting to know each other, going out for coffees and drinks and dinners, both being kind of shy about how to move forward, and THEN we both got our brave on and...yeah. I've spent more nights with him than alone over the past week, and have been walking around in this weird floaty happy haze. I alternate between being ridiculously happy and horribly panicked that he will discover I am actually a fucking NUT, and I am torn between wanting to jump in headfirst and hold back to protect myself. Just in case.

All this has got my head in a weird place, obviously. Plus I'm stressed about all the work I need to get done before the semester starts. I'm going out of town next week for a conference, then classes start the day after I get back. Already missing winter break.

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, and that 2016 is off to a great start! Love to you all.


  1. Sounds like a great break! :) I had been waiting for a new post foreverrrrrrrrr!

    1. haha I knowwwww I'm sorry! Not sure why I was so anti-blogging for a while :) Hope you are doing well after the big move!

  2. Thinks are effing bonkers for me for one reason or another. Oh well! I hope you'll blog more because mama needs her fix!