Sleep Notes, Emotions, and Drug Stuff

Well, I've been taking the valerian root for...3 nights now, I think? Can't say my sleep has been great with it, but maybe it takes time. I'm not sleeping terribly—which was the case about a month ago. It's just sort of taking a while to fall asleep, and then I'm having a hard time getting back to sleep if I wake up in the middle of the night, and I'm waking up way early in the morning. The Somnapure seemed to help, but I ran out and didn't want to pay for it again (my mom bought me the first bottle) so I was split between melatonin and valerian, both of which I've heard are relatively effective and safe, and ultimately went with the valerian because it was cheaper at Walgreens. Maybe I should try combining them, since Somnapure had both? Hmm. Can't say I've ever been much of an herbalist, but that could change.

Anyway, my current stress levels are obviously not helping the sleep situation. My workload for school is insane right now, and going out of town next weekend is going to throw things for a loop. I have a huge assignment for my modeling class due the day after I get back, and then the papers and projects just start rolling in.

I'm not sure if this is a byproduct of stress or sleep-deprivation or PMS, or maybe still that heightened sense of emotions since coming off my medication a few months ago, but I am feeling SO EMOTIONAL lately. I well up at the drop of a hat for stuff that you wouldn't think should affect me so much. One day in class last week, my advisor was talking about suicide in teenagers, and I almost burst into tears right there in the classroom. This morning I read an article in the New York Times about Michael Brown's mother visiting one of the memorials in Ferguson, and I completely broke down because it was so sad. I mean obviously yes, it really is sad, but I am not normally the type to react that way. It's hard to explain, but these episodes are totally unrelated to episodes of depression, where I cry nonstop out of frustration and self-pity and hurt. So I guess in that sense, it's strange and hard, but feels genuine and healthy so I'm not upset about it, just sort of baffled.

Speaking of being off my medication, it's been close to three months now. Can't say there has been any drastic change, although I will say that my anxiety is a tad heightened. That may just be a result of my current circumstances rather than being drug-less, since I am facing an incredible amount of stress and pressure in my daily life. I never really thought Celexa did a whole lot for depression, or maybe I was just on too low of a dose, but either way I haven't noticed any change in that.

Okey doke, time to get up and at 'em. Happy Tuesday, all.