Friday, September 19, 2014

Hippie Herbs, Mama Bear, Back Pain, and Weighty Worrying

I don't want to jinx it but this hippie sleep aid might actually be working! I've slept great the past few nights. Well, relatively great - more like back to my baseline, which is about 5-6 hours a night. I still can't sleep past 7am to save my life, but at least then I don't feel so guilty about going to bed earlier. Anyway, it's amazing what some sleep can do. I'm feeling like a brand-new woman.

My mom was in town last Tuesday through Sunday, which means I ate like a queen for five days. Basically I would tell her what I was craving and she made it - swordfish, salmon, guys think I might need to up my protein intake? Oh and also she did all the dishes and bought me a new pair of shoes. Why is my life so hard?? I don't know! I had a rough upbringing, let me tell you.

Lots to do this week. My classes are winding up and I've got assignments due, books to read, papers to write, etc. etc. etc. My poor computer is getting such a workout, as are my eyes and typing fingers. As is my butt, which spends ALL DAY EVERY DAY planted in a chair. Seriously, my back has actually been killing me. I think it's a combination of the sitting, the not-exercising, and the walking around in flats and other unsupportive shoes. It's not so much pain, as my back feels really weak and tired, and it bothers me a lot after I've been sitting for a while. A secret part of me also blames my weight, and uses this as an excuse to believe that my poor skeleton was not meant to carry this much weight so SOMETHING MUST BE VERY WRONG AND I NEED TO GO ON A DIET IMMEDIATELY. I haven't been weighing myself regularly, but I am at a lifetime high. No, I'm not overweight but yes, it still kills me. I am trying very very very hard not to care.

Um, not sure how that paragraph started off talking about schoolwork and ended up with me freaking out about my weight. Same ole same ole. I keep wishing and praying that this weight is somehow "temporary" and "not real" and will "settle down" once my metabolism "regulates" or some shiz like that, but none of those prayers are actually based in any fact or past experience. I hate that I still care about this SO much. I do not have time for this nonsense.

And I think the title of this post might be longer than the post itself, but I am tired and want to watch Revenge instead of blogging. Sorry peeps, happy Friday!

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