Friday, August 8, 2014

Low Reserves

I mentioned I had to get a colonoscopy this week - I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it was miserable. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this particular procedure, Google "colonoscopy prep." Yeah. I KNOW.

Anyway, the worst part for me was having to fast for 24 hours prior. IT WAS AWFUL. You are allowed to have clear liquids, but it's pretty hard to fill up on Gatorade and juice. Plus, I really don't have a sweet tooth and thus sports drinks and sodas are completely unappealing (except for Diet Coke, for which I would commit murder, but that doesn't exactly help in the nourishment department). Although I knew it was important to get enough calories in, it's honestly next to impossible on a clear liquid diet. So my intake was WAY low for the day, even with zero activity (spent the day in my office sitting in front of the computer).

But the odd thing for me was that the two days since ending the fast have been almost as grueling. Obviously the whole prep/procedure process is tough on the tummy, and I've been kind of nauseated and bloated-feeling ever since, but even more noticeable is how rundown I'm feeling. Even though I ate relatively normally yesterday and so far today, it feels like the 24 hours of fasting left me completed depleted of any energy reserves. I find myself getting light-headed and weak SO easily, even when there haven't been huge time gaps between meals. At least three times in the past two days, I've found myself so hungry I legitimately thought I might pass out. Yesterday after getting home, I felt so exhausted and drained and physically weak that I didn't know if I could make it up the stairs to my apartment (third-floor walk-up). Then this morning I had two bags of groceries and almost had to make two separate trips up the stairs because the bags were too heavy and my legs felt like lead.

This is how I used to feel at times when I was seriously underweight and eating dangerously low amounts of calories per day. Now, 24 hours at that intake level and I'm practically incapacitated for days. I'm not underweight, and ate normally before and after the day of fasting. But gosh, that day was a shock to my system.

One super important thing I've noticed, though, is that I have had ZERO impulse to continue restricting. This is actually a major improvement from the last time I had a scope a couple years ago. After the day of fasting, I was all fired up to keep restricting, and I lied to get out of breakfast after leaving the hospital. This time around, I was like GET ME FOOD ANY FOOD. So my brain seems to be doing better, even if my body is still struggling.

Oh and I suppose I should also add: results showed no Crohn's Disease, ulcerative colitis, colon cancer, or Celiac disease. I will get the biopsy results sometime next week, but it looks like I'm free of all the big scary GI illnesses, thank goodness.

More adventures in the post-anorexia life.

11 comments:

  1. Glad you are free of the big scaries, and glad the testing part is over for now. Solidarity, wound up in the ED 2x's this week with severe abdominal pain and lots of tests/crap to drink later (probably small kidney stone).

    And also, bodies are so weird, but yay for you for having a body that clamors for food after a fast! I've also contemplated getting a home blood glucose monitor, after seeing what my fasting AM glucoses are (where fasting = not eating that morning/for 8 hours, not like, for a day) and getting diaphoretic/crappy feeling if I have more than like 1.5 hours sans food, wake up to eat, etc. It's bizarre.

    When are you back to school?

    & also-- good job for getting the testing done. these things are so easy to ignore/dismiss/skip out on due to discomfort or a general lack of concern for our bodies, and you deserve lots of thumbs up for sucking it up and getting checked out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh OUCH, never had kidney stones but I hear they are the worst. hopefully you are feeling a little better! Yeah I suppose the other worst part of the c-scope, aside from the fasting, is drinking the 64 oz laxative mixture...came very close to puking it all up several times. Unfortunately these screenings are going to be a fact of life for me in the not-so-distant future unrelated to the current issues - fam hx of colon cancer (both paternal grandparents).

      Hmm weird about the blood sugar. I do feel like mine gets low pretty easily although I have no proof, just the sense that "hunger" for me still looks like weak/shaky/lightheaded rather than stomach-growling (or maybe I just still don't have a good grasp of my hunger cues). I also tend to get super dizzy upon standing no matter how slow, how careful, how close to my last meal...

      Back to school in about 2 weeks - actually kind of excited to get back to class after an up and down summer :)

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just posted a comment and then deleted it because it had a bad typo lol.
    But I just ran across your blog, and was very excited to have found another recovering anorexic or bulimic like myself!
    Although, I have been recovered for a few years, and I am trying to lose weight healthy now, because i went a little overboard on the eating for a little while there, so I understand if my blog may be triggering for you, in that I'm trying to lose weight, but I plan on following you to read more, hope you don't mind : )
    Love,
    Kay<3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Kay, I will absolutely check out your blog! I'm always looking for new stuff to read. It is awesome to hear that you have been recovered for a while and are doing well. So glad you found me!!

      Delete
  4. Wow, I hope you're feeling better now! Sounds like the fasting really took it out of you, along with all the unpleasantness of the procedure. Seems like you made it like a champ though!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Kaylee -- was wondering if you wanted an invite to my blog? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Awesome -- can you email me via the link in my profile? Let me know if that doesn't work. :) Once I have your email address, I can invite you. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't see the link...but my e-mail is kem0913@gmail.com

      Delete
  7. Oh, weird. I thought it was there. I'll add you. You'll get an email. Cool, see ya on my blog!

    ReplyDelete