Wednesday, August 27, 2014

First Week Rollercoaster

Well, I predicted stress and that is what I got. This semester is totally jam-packed, it's almost unbelievable. Monday I had class 9am-3pm, followed by back-to-back meetings until 6. Yesterday was work 9am-3pm, meeting 3:30-4:30, and then class 5-8pm. Today is work 9am-4pm, then lab 5-8pm. Tomorrow, therapy, class, and meetings. Friday, work.

I keep swinging between being excited/stimulated/energized, panicked/stressed, and straight up exhausted. Yesterday afternoon I called my mom for a quick check-in just to say hi and let her know how GREAT and EXCITING things were. Then I called her again at 9pm in tears because I was so tired and stressed and worried about my classes. So, yeah. That's pretty much how things have been going.

On the plus side, I had an awesome meeting with my advisor yesterday. We are moving forward on a couple of big projects that should be really exciting and interesting. Plus, he wanted to check in about my PhD applications and offered lots of important insight and advice, which I sorely needed. So now my search feels much more focused and manageable. PLUS, he is just a smart and interesting guy and it's always nice to talk with him. We were musing about the feasibility of an ENORMOUS study in College City, which would be the perfect site for a lot of reasons, and concluded that all we'd need would be $25 million dollars and 20 years. Seems reasonable to me! My current university is actually on my list of potential PhD programs, and J is a big reason why I'm considering it. It would be super appealing to stay on and continue working with him, especially given that we have a great relationship already and I'm familiar with his work. However, this is one of the MOST selective programs on my list, and getting in might be totally out of the question.

With all this going on, New Dude is getting totally neglected. I warned him this would happen when my semester started, but that doesn't make it easier or better. Also, I am still unsure if this is going to be a Real Thing. We haven't had The Talk just yet (partly because I am avoiding it), but he certainly treats me like a girlfriend, and it seems like things are moving in that direction if I want them to. Still not necessarily sure if I want them to. Which probably means I don't. Why is my heart a padlocked ice chest, you ask? Well, I do not know.

So, that's my deal for now. Back to work!


  1. Good luck keeping up with all of your classes and work and everything!
    Things with "new dude" will workout the way they're supposed to work out, if he can't deal with your busy schedule then let it be, school is a majorly important thing and it seems like you're working really hard to get to where you want to be.
    But, if he can deal with only seeing you once in a while because you're busy, I'd say go with the flow, he might be a nice way to relax after a long day ; )


  2. If I may make an observation, it really seems like you're not into this dude at all. So, best to have "The Talk" sooner rather than later, 'cause you're kinda like, stringing him along sort of?

    1. You absolutely may, and you are absolutely right. I had the same thought and actually broke it off the same day I wrote this post. Thanks Erin

  3. Wow! You have an insanely busy schedule! Exciting stuff, but lots of it! Hope you make sure to take some time every day to do some self-care, even just a few minutes :)