One Good Day

After all the misery I've been spewing in my last few posts, I just had to sit down and write about the wonderful day I had yesterday. Nothing big happened - just hanging out at home, running errands, cooking and eating dinner with my family - but after several days in a row of inexplicable, overwhelming sadness, it was the most incredible feeling. 

I woke up around nine, had quick coffee and breakfast with my mom before heading out to the Apple store. I've been having problems with my laptop this fall, so I'd made a Genius Bar appointment for 10am, as soon as the store opens. I got there at 9:55, and there was already a line out the door of people bringing in their new Christmas toys for returns, repairs, etc. Luckily my appointment was fast and I was out of there within thirty minutes. Back at home, I hung out with my brother for a while, then went shopping with my dad to exchange one of his gifts. Came home, ate lunch, and then headed back out to run some errands with my mom and brother.

Later that evening, my mom and I made dinner together. In general, I don't particularly enjoy cooking (it's not an ED thing, I just don't really have the creativity or patience to spend much time making elaborate meals), but I LOVE cooking with my mom. We use it as an excuse for some relaxing girl time - put on an episode of Law & Order or Bones in the background, sip some wine, and take turns chopping/stir-frying/mixing etc. 

My dad and brother are total men's men in that they refuse to participating in the food prep, but eventually they wandered into the kitchen as well, snacking on cheese and crackers and chips while we finished warming up the food and setting the table. We had one of those long cozy dinners where everyone lingered talking at the table after the food was gone because we were too comfortable to leave.

It wasn't until much later that night, when I was brushing my teeth and taking out my contacts, that I realized how content I was feeling. None of the usual out-of-control anxiety and overpowering depression, but a new sense of security and calm. I'm not under any illusions that one good day means the end of this emotional roller coaster I seem to have been on lately, but that one good day has recharged my batteries and settled some of my racing fears.