Anyone have any experience with SSRIs? I know I've been opposed to medication in the past, but lately R has got me reconsidering. It's not so much for depression as it is for the constant counting, circular obsessions, and endless anxieties over minuscule matters that seem to have gotten worse in the past few months. Are there calories in Sprite Zero? In multivitamins? Toothpaste?
In therapy today, I was talking about my calorie-counting habit. How my brain seems wired to automatically start counting any and everything. R seemed struck by how present these thoughts really are for me, and how this might be the biggest barrier keeping me from committing to the meal plan and making real changes. He made me wonder: what would my mind be like without counting calories? Without all the background noise?
Lately, my moods and thoughts have just been so unpredictable. My brain is exhausted. What if a pill could regulate everything, bring me back to normal? I hate the idea of a foreign, artificial substance messing with my insides, but what if it helps?
Biggest fear: weight gain. ALLEGEDLY, according to R, Prozac doesn't cause weight gain like other anti-depressants, but I'm skeptical. Does it just increase appetite? Because I can deal with that. That would probably even be good for me, considering how unwilling I am to eat when I'm not hungry. But if there's some magical chemical process outside my control that will actually make my body bulk up - well, I don't think I'm down for that.
I haven't made any decisions yet, and I would absolutely rather NOT take anything. But sometimes my irrational obsessions and fears make me think my brain needs a little help.
The possibilities of side effects and dependency are really freaking me out, and I would love to hear if anyone has any experience or advice! Feel free to comment or e-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org.