Saturday, October 29, 2011

Date Night

New source of stress in my life. I'm shy so you don't get all the juicy details, but suddenly there's this dude who keeps wanting me to go out to dinner all the time!

I kid, I kid. He's actually a really good friend who I've known since freshman year, and we may or may not be progressing beyond the Friend stage. Currently, we're still navigating the are-we/aren't-we question, which is complicated by the fact that we've known each other for a while already. But we've had a few solo dinners out together, and thus far he has insisted on paying every time. me old-fashioned, but I'm assuming that officially makes these Dates?

Oddly, I kind of like dating, even though it can be awkward as hell. I like getting to know a person one-on-one. I also tend to get along with guys really well, whether as friends or boyfriends or whatever. One of my guy friends here once told me that I'm "more laid-back than other chicks," which made me snort water out my nose laughing because I am the least laid-back person you will ever meet. Yes, I am beyond skilled at hiding my neuroticism.

So in the past few weeks, I've actually been doing pretty darn well playing it cool and going with the flow in terms of food with this guy. (Should I assign him a letter? Maybe not yet.) I've told him a little bit about the anorexia, nothing hugely specific, and I definitely gave him the impression that it is basically In the Past and totally Under Control.

Tomorrow will be a test, though. He's taking me to a restaurant that serves a type of cuisine I am NOT comfortable eating, and would otherwise avoid at all cost. I checked the menu online (obviously) and there is nothing remotely "safe." Nothing that wouldn't be a huge challenge to eat even without the added pressure of being on a date.

I can't decide if it would be better to pore over the options tonight and freak out/obsess/pick something ahead of time, or put the issue out of my mind and not worry about it until I get there. Hmm. Mostly, I wish I could just chill the fuck out about food and look forward to a nice dinner with a nice guy.


  1. A Boy! =D

    That "are we or aren't we" period can be a little awkward, but it sounds like he's really interested in you--paying for the dinners is a BIG sign. And of course he's interested in you, you're a catch! ;)

    This kind of restaurant situation is hard. Is the issue that there is *nothing* safe, or that there is only very scary versus not enough (I'm thinking steak versus salad or something like that). Maybe you could supplement before or after so that it's not so much pressure on you to eat an entire meal of something you're not comfortable with. Not that I'm advising to give up on trying something new: challenges like this are really the best way to make progress; nothing seems to beat exposure therapy. I know it's sometimes best done stepwise, though. Also keep in mind that they might have some specials or other options that aren't showing up on the website. And if there's even an appetizer that looks like it is "safer", you can always order that as an entree; people do it all the time.

    I usually find it way, way easier to pick a menu item ahead of time so that I can be "in the moment" with my date more at the restaurant, but that's a personal preference and may not be best for everyone.

    I think an important thing to keep in mind is that his main focus on this date is you, not the food. That's the purpose and main attraction for him, so try not to stress too much over what he thinks about what you order.

    Also, if you think it's likely you'll be going out with him again, it is probably best to mention that you don't like that kind of food, so that you don't have to do this over again. You don't have to offer any explanation; all kinds of people have random and arbitrary food preferences. My boyfriend is actually a way more picky eater than *I* am, which is sad when your girlfriend is a recovering anorexic, LOL. Plus, he is going to want to please you and to make you comfortable, so I'm sure he'd rather know your preferences up front.

    Have FUN and let us know how it goes!!! xoxo

  2. I just realized my comment was as long as your actual post. :( Sorry.

  3. Hello- I'm a first time commenter but I can totally relate to worrying about eating out. I hate it when the menu doesn't contain anything really safe, and I think dating can probably add a whole new layer of stress to it. My advice would be to come up with a plan of action beforehand, especially if you aren't certain. I've often wished that I could just relax and order on impulse like a 'normal' person- but my experiences attempting to go with the moment in regards to eating out have usually been disasterous! If I'm going to challenge myself, I cope a lot better if I know in advance- and once I've decided to do something, I don't usually have much trouble doing it. I also cope better if my blood sugar levels are stable (which means I actually feel better I try not to restrict in advance, however conterintuitive that seems).
    Good luck with your date and I hope you have a great time! It sounds like you might have something really good developing, so don't let food get you down.

  4. How did it go?!!!!!!!!!!! I'm proud of you for even thinking about going!