My anxiety is randomly outta control right now. Like, this minute. I've had a decent weekend so far, saw some friends last night and today, had a good time, but got home tonight and am suddenly freaking out like none other about:
- food
- exercise
- weight
- health
- foot injury
- nerve pain
Mostly the nerve pain. I've got in my head that swimming will exacerbate it, or maybe that it will aggravate my foot, or maybe it will make me fat, or maybe I-don't-even-know. Don't know what happened, but I've got that sick, sinking feeling in my gut that hits when the anxiety has me totally snowed under and nothing feels manageable.
These are the moments when I worry that I'll be like this the rest of my life, and I don't know if I can handle that. Or if I want to.
Ugh I'm sorry. I think I know where this is coming from but I'm not okay or rational enough to write about it right now. More tomorrow.
Yikes, sounds like you're having a rough go of it this weekend. Do you have any idea what brought the anxiety to such a head; uncertainty about your foot, new routine with swimming, big transitions with work/school coming up? Whatever the reason, anxiety flare-ups are super unpleasant and I hope your weekend has gotten better. Do you think you're focused on the health/body stuff as a way to divert worry from other upcoming life changes?
ReplyDeleteWhat are typically your go-to strategies/people when you are feeling overwhelmed? I'm always just a text away, don't hesitate to reach out!
I'm so sorry you're having all this anxiety :( Injury can definitely cause anxiety about that stuff, so I'm sure dealing with your foot and now the return of nerve pain have been difficult. Any idea why the nerve pain hit? Hormones? Are you seeing Dr. P soon?
ReplyDeleteI also get that it's worrisome that life will always be this way. From someone who has been reading for a long time and known you for a few years, you've made giant strides in this area. I know it feels really crappy right now, and I'm not trying to diminish that. I have a lot of confidence that these feelz will become less and less frequent, as they seem to have been doing thus far. I know that doesn't make the current anxiety any better, but I just wanted to tell you I'm so proud of how hard you've worked on this stuff, and I believe it'll keep getting better for you.
Hang in there, and please reach out! I'm here if you need to talk or vent!