I just got back to College City a few hours ago after a lovely few days at home. Aside from a Turkey Trot on Thursday morning and an outing with some old high school friends on Friday, my vacation was primarily split between family time and homework. It was just the four of us (mom, dad, brother, me) for Thanksgiving dinner, which was fine by me. I love quiet, cozy holidays. Plus, I think I might be at the point where I'm able to actually enjoy food a bit rather than stress about it. My mom cooked up a storm and we had an awesome array: turkey (obviously), mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, curried cauliflower, carrots, cranberry chutney, rolls, and pumpkin AND apple pie (although the apple was only for my dad's benefit—he's picky).
I got a Food Talk from my mom yesterday, which was kind of weird. It's been a while. I feel like I've been eating pretty well, and my weight is the highest it's been in several years. I think she noticed that I'm running a lot more these days, and is freaked out that I'm going to set myself back healthwise—basically the same fear I've been having myself. Six months ago, I would've sworn to give up all exercise in a heartbeat if it meant the pain would get better; now that the pain is actually starting to get better, I've WAY upped my exercise and I'm reluctant to even think about cutting back. Even though I know that only terrible things will come from me falling back into those old compulsions, it's so hard to logic myself out of it. It's also weird because I'm doing well with food, so it sort of seems like I've started swapping one compulsion (restricting) for another (running). At least it's not both at once like it used to be, right? Like, I'm okay with increasing my calories and eating poptarts and pumpkin pie and all that, but can still only really justify it because I'm working out. Ugh, I want these thoughts out of my head.
Okay, off to work on some of these papers and get psyched for the insane week ahead. Hope everyone had a great holiday, take care.