This online dating thing moves quickly, it seems... After I first met my ex (the old-fashioned way) last August, it took him six weeks to actually follow up. I've only been on this dating site for like eight days or something, and I've already met someone, hung out with him twice, and have another date lined up with Guy #2 on Wednesday.
I used to swear up and down I would never ever ever do online dating, but turns out every (as in, EVERY) one of my single friends is on Tinder or Bumble or OCCupid or Match or whatever else the kids are doing these days. Anyway, my date with Guy #1 went great - he is super adorable and sweet and nerdy in the best way possible. We actually hung out again the next day, totally spontaneous but felt so easy and fun. So, consider me crushing :) Date with Guy #2 is later this week; we've been texting a lot but I haven't actually met him in person yet. He has promised he "has never seen Dexter" so he won't "stalk or murder" me. And who says romance is dead??? It feels really weird and kind of icky to be going out with two guys at once....any experience/opinions/judgements about this???
So overall it was a busy week/weekend - Thursday was Taco Night at a friend's apartment, Friday was drinks and dinner with an old college friend, Saturday was date #1 (dinner and gelato), and Sunday was date #2 (exploring a neighborhood downtown).
I just saw my psychiatrist for a three-month follow-up. I adore her. We agreed things are going A-Okay in the anxiety department—perhaps due to a lighter schedule or the new drug cocktail (on 20mg Prozac and 1mg Klonopin as needed). Anyway, it's always a nice feeling to run out of things to say with the shrink, no? That being said, I actually did pop a Klonopin today for the first time in several weeks. I was feeling super antsy and nervous and approaching freak-out mode....not sure why, perhaps too many new people, too much being out and about, too many new feelings etc. etc. etc.
Oh, and another weird thing - I've been feeling really fat lately. Not sure how else to describe it, just that visceral sense that you are jiggly and too much. I had thought it was PMS-related bloating, but it didn't go away after my period ended, and I was feeling SO ICKY and self conscious; I convinced myself that the Prozac was indeed, despite my psychiatrist's assurance, causing me to gain weight. I've been afraid to step on the scale but this morning I finally did (first time in MONTHS) and whaddya know, weight is rock solid. Still within the same 2-3 pound range I have been for at least two years.
As a result of too much play and not enough work, I am swamped today finishing up work for my advisor, and grading final papers for the class I TAed earlier this month. Happy Monday, everyone!
Monday, July 25, 2016
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Stormy Musings
Things have slowed wayyyy down after a crazy few weeks. I was traveling quite a bit at the beginning of the summer (home, conferences, visiting friends) then my mom was in town for a week for the 4th, I taught a class for a month (five hours a day, four days a week....BRUTAL) which just ended. Now I'm just finishing up grading final papers, and my advisor is out of town for the next two weeks which means FREEDOM.
The weather in College City abso-fucking-lutely sucks and I'm so over it. Weeks and weeks of brutal heat, plus almost daily rain/thunderstorms, plus out-of-this-world humidity = cranky Kaylee. Is it too much to ask for a moderately temperate climate, Midwest? Is it?!? Holy Jesus literally as I've been sitting here writing this, another thunderstorm just rolled in. GET ME OUT.
Otherwise, I suppose the biggest news from the past week is that I got a haircut (I LEAD A VERY EXCITING LIFE). My hair was sooooo long, like almost to my waist. I got four inches cut off, but of course my hair was so long to begin with that it's almost not even noticeable. I've been growing my hair out for about three years now with only periodic trims, so this was a semi milestone. Even though it doesn't really look all that different.
Each of these could probably be its own post, but as you can tell from my recent blogging habits, it would probably be overly ambitious of me to attempt that. So here are a few developments:
- I'm in a fight with my best friend. But...she doesn't know we're in a fight. In other words, I'm super annoyed with her for reasons that are too specific and complicated and longstanding to explain here, but haven't talked with her about it. So I'm stewing silently and being passive aggressive and distant. #maturity
- I'm having lots of insecurities about academic/professional/career stuff. This summer has been hard because I'm working on lots of random stuff for my advisor without any sense of compelling purpose. I'm not loving any of the projects I'm on right now, which has me feeling very ambivalent and half-hearted about my work. Plus I've gotten TWO manuscripts rejected by journals in the past month, and my self-confidence has taken a serious hit. I've been thinking about what it means to be in this field, fighting for publication and funding and tenure for the next decade at least, and questioning whether my present career/life plans are right for me.
- I joined OKCupid. God help us all.
The weather in College City abso-fucking-lutely sucks and I'm so over it. Weeks and weeks of brutal heat, plus almost daily rain/thunderstorms, plus out-of-this-world humidity = cranky Kaylee. Is it too much to ask for a moderately temperate climate, Midwest? Is it?!? Holy Jesus literally as I've been sitting here writing this, another thunderstorm just rolled in. GET ME OUT.
Otherwise, I suppose the biggest news from the past week is that I got a haircut (I LEAD A VERY EXCITING LIFE). My hair was sooooo long, like almost to my waist. I got four inches cut off, but of course my hair was so long to begin with that it's almost not even noticeable. I've been growing my hair out for about three years now with only periodic trims, so this was a semi milestone. Even though it doesn't really look all that different.
Each of these could probably be its own post, but as you can tell from my recent blogging habits, it would probably be overly ambitious of me to attempt that. So here are a few developments:
- I'm in a fight with my best friend. But...she doesn't know we're in a fight. In other words, I'm super annoyed with her for reasons that are too specific and complicated and longstanding to explain here, but haven't talked with her about it. So I'm stewing silently and being passive aggressive and distant. #maturity
- I'm having lots of insecurities about academic/professional/career stuff. This summer has been hard because I'm working on lots of random stuff for my advisor without any sense of compelling purpose. I'm not loving any of the projects I'm on right now, which has me feeling very ambivalent and half-hearted about my work. Plus I've gotten TWO manuscripts rejected by journals in the past month, and my self-confidence has taken a serious hit. I've been thinking about what it means to be in this field, fighting for publication and funding and tenure for the next decade at least, and questioning whether my present career/life plans are right for me.
- I joined OKCupid. God help us all.
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