Low Reserves

I mentioned I had to get a colonoscopy this week - I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it was miserable. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this particular procedure, Google "colonoscopy prep." Yeah. I KNOW.

Anyway, the worst part for me was having to fast for 24 hours prior. IT WAS AWFUL. You are allowed to have clear liquids, but it's pretty hard to fill up on Gatorade and juice. Plus, I really don't have a sweet tooth and thus sports drinks and sodas are completely unappealing (except for Diet Coke, for which I would commit murder, but that doesn't exactly help in the nourishment department). Although I knew it was important to get enough calories in, it's honestly next to impossible on a clear liquid diet. So my intake was WAY low for the day, even with zero activity (spent the day in my office sitting in front of the computer).

But the odd thing for me was that the two days since ending the fast have been almost as grueling. Obviously the whole prep/procedure process is tough on the tummy, and I've been kind of nauseated and bloated-feeling ever since, but even more noticeable is how rundown I'm feeling. Even though I ate relatively normally yesterday and so far today, it feels like the 24 hours of fasting left me completed depleted of any energy reserves. I find myself getting light-headed and weak SO easily, even when there haven't been huge time gaps between meals. At least three times in the past two days, I've found myself so hungry I legitimately thought I might pass out. Yesterday after getting home, I felt so exhausted and drained and physically weak that I didn't know if I could make it up the stairs to my apartment (third-floor walk-up). Then this morning I had two bags of groceries and almost had to make two separate trips up the stairs because the bags were too heavy and my legs felt like lead.

This is how I used to feel at times when I was seriously underweight and eating dangerously low amounts of calories per day. Now, 24 hours at that intake level and I'm practically incapacitated for days. I'm not underweight, and ate normally before and after the day of fasting. But gosh, that day was a shock to my system.

One super important thing I've noticed, though, is that I have had ZERO impulse to continue restricting. This is actually a major improvement from the last time I had a scope a couple years ago. After the day of fasting, I was all fired up to keep restricting, and I lied to get out of breakfast after leaving the hospital. This time around, I was like GET ME FOOD ANY FOOD. So my brain seems to be doing better, even if my body is still struggling.

Oh and I suppose I should also add: results showed no Crohn's Disease, ulcerative colitis, colon cancer, or Celiac disease. I will get the biopsy results sometime next week, but it looks like I'm free of all the big scary GI illnesses, thank goodness.

More adventures in the post-anorexia life.