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Random friend issues:
Exhibit A: One of my friends is getting SUPER DUPER needy and intense, and I'm not sure how to handle it. She's been having issues with her roommates and wants to get away from them, but I'm sorry. I cannot hang out with her three nights in a row. No offense to her; I'm just not that social. I can't hang out with anyone three nights in a row. So I feel bad about declining, and am trying to be really honest with myself about: am I declining because I'm lame and sad and have a tendency to get irrationally nervous about socializing? Or is it because I'm being kind to myself, accepting that I'm not in a fantastic place right now, and maybe need some alone time?
Exhibit B: Remember this guy who was a little too persistent for his own good? Well, it looks like I've successfully repelled him because he hasn't really been texting me that much anymore. But now, you guessed it, I feel like a mean, awful, horrible, heartless person. The one time I agreed to hang out with him in the past month, he showed up bearing a gift: a pen that he'd gotten CUSTOM ENGRAVED WITH MY NAME ON IT. And naturally, my reaction was to never contact him again.
UGH. Why is it that having friends who care about me and want to spend time with me makes me unbelievably stressed out and irritated? Am I human?? And how can I possibly reconcile this with the fact that I sometimes feel super isolated and lonely?
Anyway. My mom gets here tomorrow for a long weekend. My cousin is graduating from college (different university than me, but in the same city) so we have a bunch of family festivities planned. I'm a little nervous about how things will go with the pain, but am going to keep an open mind and try to have a good time.
Blue teeth from Airheads are the worst! But they're just so tasty! As for the guy in Exhibit B, an engraved pen??? Woah. That's intense, especially after you had distanced yourself from him a while back. For the friend in Exhibit A, I think it's a good observation you make that you need some alone time. I hope you're able to gently scale it back to less-frequent hanging out so that you can have a good boundary about making sure you get alone time. Also, if you can figure out the answers to the questions you pose, let me know. That seems to be a mystery for myself as well.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great and pain-free weekend!
Gah guy stuff is hard!! I am, I think similarly to you, too polite for my own good in those situations sometimes. One of the nicest things (I'm terrible!) about being in a relationship is an automatic out with other people! I once had someone make an elaborate (think high level calculus) "poem" to ask me out. And then when I was like hey sorry I'm busy a- thought i was too dumb to figure it out & b- lectured me on being too busy/not making spending time with him a priority!!
ReplyDeleteSo offensive. Yeah, I'm a workaholic, but I *did* make time to spend time with people I wanted to see, you know?
People are tough, yo.
Hope the weekend went okay with the fam & the pain!
Also: I think living alone is tough, re: loneliness etc. I think I kinda like having people "around" without having to be "on" all the time. When you live by yourself, you don't have that downtime with your roommate thing that you get when you're living with another human being.