I am going to attempt to emerge from this unofficial blogging hiatus. Like I said before, it wasn't exactly intentional; I've just had SO much swirling around in my head that I don't know how to put into words. Thankfully things have been getting better. The nerve pain has definitely eased up; I've had maybe 4-5 solidly good days in a row now, and that initial omgit'sback panic has settled down. I saw my College City doc yesterday afternoon, and his advice was basically: "Ride it out, see what happens, and come back if it gets worse. But I don't think it will get worse; I think it will get better." At first that frustrated me, because I wanted an answer not a wait-and-see. But now I feel better about, more like "well if he's not worried, then I shouldn't be either."
As per usual I have been insanely busy. Work, clinic, school, research, eating, sleeping (not much), and watching Scandal pretty much fills my time these days. To give you an idea, A Week in the Life:
Monday
9am-5pm: clinic
Tuesday
9am-1pm: work
1-3pm: class
3-6pm work
Wednesday
10-11am: therapy
12-6pm: work
Thursday
9am-12:30pm: clinic
1-3pm: class
3-6pm: work
Friday
9am-5pm: clinic
Saturday
10am-3pm: food bank
Sunday
SWEET NOTHING
My class ends the second week of July, so things should slow down a bit after that. Although I just signed on to do qualitative interviews for a study with another professor for a study starting this month, so that will probably take up a few hours a week too.
For the last couple of weeks, I was spending every free minute in my advisor's office helping him put together a giant grant proposal for a study he is planning. Literally, I would go after work or class every day and stay until 8 or 9pm. Thank goodness we finally got it out just before the deadline. It's a lot of money for a very exciting study so everyone keep your fingers and toes crossed that we get funded!!! My advisor (has he gotten a letter? Let's call him J) took me out to lunch yesterday as a thank-you. We went to this amazing restaurant where I ordered mahi mahi with lentils (YUM) and he ordered scallops AND THEN he took me to Starbucks and bought me a cup of coffee. What more could a girl want? It was really nice to have a chance to get out of his office and chat about non-school-related things.
Last night I had some friends over to open a bottle of wine and chat. For all the problems and disillusionment I've had with my graduate program, I really have made some great friends. It's sort of hard when you know that most people will only be around for two years, but I do not function well without a crew of girlfriends around. My former roommate and other college friends are great from a distance, but there's no substitute for having people to call on a Friday night, you know?
Clinic is still one crisis after another. Last Friday I had two suicidal patients back-to-back. One ended up in the hospital and the other ended up in a domestic violence shelter. So that kind of put a damper on my day. Then I saw a guy who has been living under a bridge since he got out of prison in 2006. His dad just died, and he cried for an hour in my office. I vacillate constantly between wanting to stay on and help these people, and wanting to get the hell out of this clinic as fast as possible.
Well, this was a little disjointed, but hopefully that gives you guys an idea of what I've been up to these past few weeks. Hopefully I will get back into the habit of blogging more regularly. Toodles!
I'm so glad to hear that you've had some pain-free (or at least manageable) days! Fingers crossed that continues!
ReplyDeleteYou've got quite the busy schedule, lady! I'm glad your advisor took you out to celebrate all of your hard work! I'm glad you were able to have a fun, social night with the girls! Along with the busy schedule, seems like clinic is really taking a toll. I so admire you for being able to do it, and I can well imagine that a physical and emotional break from it would be helpful. Maybe after you're done there with the necessary hours, you can take a bit of time away from it, recharge, and reassess.
Take care!