tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post8746153352497037777..comments2023-12-02T03:37:15.740-05:00Comments on New Voice, New Life: Good/Bad TherapyKayleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07637653451031426942noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-32211701919037489232012-08-21T20:34:33.541-04:002012-08-21T20:34:33.541-04:00Just wanted to add to what everyone has said re: e...Just wanted to add to what everyone has said re: emotions changing *after* the weight restoration happens. <br /><br />[[And also this: I am patently incapable of writing a short anything. sorry! When I applied to schools and had a 300 character limit for some sections, I almost died.]]<br /><br />Would it be easier for you to make/focus on goals that aren't feelings based? For me I got really frustrated that I still HAD to focus on eating enough, that I couldn't just eat whatever, go out to dinner impulsively, figure out what to eat if plans changed etc, and I kept getting pissed at myself for not being flexible in early recovery. It was easier to focus on concrete goals like not going to bed hungry, following my meal plan, trying one scary thing a week, not exercising more than x-amount, or not exercising through pain, etc. And these seemed like really stupid goals, bc no other 19 y/o I knew was focusing on life fulfillment through extra bedtime snacks of granola. But it helped, because even if I wasn't feeling headwise better, I was feeling good about reaching goals.<br /><br />And it's been two years since I've been in intensive treatment/since my last major relapse, and I can't even begin to list how much things have changed, and they didn't change necessarily bc they were my goals-- I think they just changed bc I got fed in a constant way and my brain got a whole lot better. I really hope you don't use those goals as some sort of metric to beat yourself up about how little progress you've made.<br /><br />I think most of the really important core parts of recovery aren't things we notice overnight or in a summer's time-- I think you make tons of boring & painful & tear-laden progress and then one day you do something that used to be impossibly hard like it was nothing...all these things add up until the ED takes up so much less space, you'll wonder how you ever managed your life with it there at all. At least that's the sappy, gooey, stage that I'm at in my life right now. JShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01730134189350353270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-6844355494630194262012-08-18T21:02:24.897-04:002012-08-18T21:02:24.897-04:00Hi Kaylee! I'm still not sure how to write an ...Hi Kaylee! I'm still not sure how to write an independent comment on Blogspot as a Wordpress user, so I'm going to comment by replying to a comment that somebody already left :)<br /><br />I think R is totally right about your emotions and thinking patterns improving once you are 95% of your ideal weight. I have actually experienced a bit of clear thinking lately, and I believe it is a result of me (randomly...out of nowhere!) allowing myself to eat more "junk" food, to snack more often, and to eat different things. My weight has gone up a few pounds, and when I weigh myself, I automatically think about how to lose those few pounds...but when it comes down to eating when I am hungry, somehow the rational thoughts are winning more often, and I feel less guilty about eating - even when I'm not hungry. I can't say that I do this effortlessly; it's extremely mentally trying at times, but I must say that I have noticed the ability to "get over" these irrational, guilty thoughts that I have after eating, much quicker now that I've expanded my nutritional repertoire and gained 2-3 pounds. I'm not sure if it has to do with being less rigid with the kinds of food that I eat, or if the 2-3 pound weight gain actually contributes to healthier thoughts patterns, but I'll take what I can get! <br /><br />You sound like you have been doing much better in recent months, and I am so happy to hear that! Hope you continue your therapy with R...even though it might not seem like it, it really sucks not having a therapist to vent to on a regular basis. Once I moved out and started living/working on my own, I unfortunately had to give up my therapy, and I certainly miss that outlet!<br /><br />Take care!<br /><br />AlliAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-55913110410330543562012-08-17T11:08:00.290-04:002012-08-17T11:08:00.290-04:00I'm glad the session with R was better! I hope...I'm glad the session with R was better! I hope that continues! <br /><br />I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling discouraged about the goals you've set. I know it can be really hard to feel stagnant, despite wanting things to be better. May I just say, though, that we are the last to see growth in ourselves. I've definitely seen you have some major accomplishments! I mean, I'm so impressed by the way you really fought through the exercise stuff a while back, and how you've been challenging yourself to eat out more lately. The feelings might be rough and still really painful, but you're doing these things anyway, which is awesome. There's a cliche out there in another recovery community that says "suit up, show up, and the feelings will catch up." I know it's hard to be patient about the emotional side of things improving, but I really think they will. Hang in there, you can do this!<br /><br />And I love the text conversation with your mom, such a cute exchange! Aliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10715046132281175549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-8752810897265720132012-08-17T07:30:06.874-04:002012-08-17T07:30:06.874-04:00Um whats a nutrition label...? lol
Sorry to here ...Um whats a nutrition label...? lol<br /><br />Sorry to here you're mentally struggling, but don't get down on yourself! Clearly you are making some type of progress which is great.<br /><br />Try taking small steps on some of your goals. Maybe picking one thing not to measure a day, something easy and see how that feels. <br /><br />When I make goals they die off and I seem to just forget about them. Recently I started reading them every morning for a little motivation or "reminder." So maybe try that too.<br /><br />Best wishes<3<br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08277449586362820296noreply@blogger.com