tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post4570077382999126958..comments2023-12-02T03:37:15.740-05:00Comments on New Voice, New Life: Boy ProblemzKayleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07637653451031426942noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-3657333621524859042014-02-10T14:13:25.894-05:002014-02-10T14:13:25.894-05:00Nobody has a right to tell you how to spend your t...Nobody has a right to tell you how to spend your time. And in subtle/coercive ways, when you have to lie and say you have dinner plans when you don't just to not have dinner with him, when he's so persistent and convincing-- you have to take a step back and if you don't wanna spend your v limited "free" time with him, you have to say so. Older men can kinda be/seem more aggressive about these sorts of things too.<br /><br />I had a situation where I didn't wanna let a guy (also significantly older) down too hard, and so I just kept saying I was busy when he asked me to do things with him. Eventually he blew up at me and told me my priorities were all messed up and I was a workaholic etc, and then I said it's not that I always do work, it's just that when I'm not doing work spending time with you isn't a priority! That didn't quite squelch the attention, but at least after that was out I felt fine just saying NO. Not, No because of xyz. Be careful, and know that its 100% okay to opt outta plans with other people just because you feel like it. JShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01730134189350353270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-63608658419932773452014-02-09T16:39:11.288-05:002014-02-09T16:39:11.288-05:00Eek, this sounds like a frustrating and difficult ...Eek, this sounds like a frustrating and difficult situation! It's really unfortunate that he doesn't have really any other social life so you don't feel like you have to spend so much time with him. The money part sounds really frustrating also. I'm really glad that you're very self-aware about not having the emotional energy to deal with this, and that you're finding less time for other relationships too. I really do agree with your mom and best friend about the need to be honest with him. Can you try sort of rehearsing exactly what you need to say ahead of time so you don't get flustered, and just try to stick with it? You could maybe downplay the romantic let-down and focus on how busy you are and how you feel like you spend all your free time with him (though you'll probably somehow have to be clear that you're not attracted to him romantically). You could also bring up the payment part, as that would maybe let him know you're not interested in a romantic relationship. Good luck!Aliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10715046132281175549noreply@blogger.com