tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post1244311176673553239..comments2023-12-02T03:37:15.740-05:00Comments on New Voice, New Life: A Series of Stupid DecisionsKayleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07637653451031426942noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-15574240567723857552014-02-03T14:40:46.736-05:002014-02-03T14:40:46.736-05:00Thanks Alie. Maybe I should've gone with "...Thanks Alie. Maybe I should've gone with "misguided" or "imprudent" but those just don't have the same ring to them. It's kind of nuts how ingrained this stuff is, even when I consider myself to be in a very good and healthy place, ed-wise. I think you're right - I am definitely a compulsively busy/people-pleasing/ambitious person and no matter how much I preach moderation and self-care, it all seems to go right out the window when my life gets hectic and exciting.Kayleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07637653451031426942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753685376168608657.post-86596675028733319272014-02-02T17:38:38.858-05:002014-02-02T17:38:38.858-05:00I wouldn't characterize these as stupid, but r...I wouldn't characterize these as stupid, but rather decisions that were fueled by your eating disorder and a majorly type-A personality (understatement). Sounds like you really are taking on way too much. Can you pinpoint exactly why, in each moment, you made those specific decisions? Is it a feeling of needing to be busy? Or people-pleasing? Or ambition? These are just thoughts, but I think it's time to scale back on what you've already agreed to, and make a commitment to yourself to not take on anything more. I know that's really difficult, but the low calories, skipping meds, and competitive running seem to indicate that maybe being so busy isn't great all around for you or your health. I, too, have gotten competitive with someone I saw at the gym a lot, and it feels crappy no matter what. I think you should also see your psych ASAP and be totally honest about your meds and see if you can come up with a solution together. As for the eating...peanut butter! Pop-tarts! In all seriousness, I just don't want to see things slide for you, and I hope that you can start really committing to yourself to hit your calories every single day, as well as meds every day, and not getting competitive with workouts. I know it's hard when you're stressed, but it seems like this might be a vicious circle of stress and the return of ED behaviors. I just know how hard you've worked in recovery, and I know how much happier and freer that has made you feel. Let me know if there's anything I can do to support you! Aliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10715046132281175549noreply@blogger.com